There Is No Shame

I saw this on the sidewalk recently, before a doctor’s appointment. A thank you to the artist!

“I’ve been living with Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease for ten years now, and I’m still learning how to do it. I don’t know if there ever comes a time when you reach the finish line and achieve the “gold star” for figuring it all out. You just keep figuring it out, moment-by-moment, day-by-day, and wake up the next day, and do it all again.”

And so begins my recently published essay, “There Is No Shame in Life With Chronic Illness,” published at The Mighty. (Click here to read the article in its entirety.)

The conclusion of the essay goes like this:

“There is no shame in your body not working/functioning/behaving as it used to. Your body, your life, you – are still a marvel. Never forget that. 

There is no shame in who you are and how you feel.

There is no shame in needing to learn this lesson over and over again.”

It’s an important lesson as we look with longing and hope to the new year.

Wishing you all a peaceful, healthy 2021. 

Chicken Soup and Cozy Stories

Who else needs comfort and reassurance during these scary times?

In our family, comfort takes many forms. 

Mugs of hot chocolate topped with whipped cream.

Snuggly blankets. Fuzzy socks. Lit candles. Lots of hugs.

And favorite stories. 

This holiday season, perhaps more than any other, we need to hold on to that which makes us feel comforted and calmed. 

We need heart-warming, re-affirming stories. 

On that note, might I do a little self-promotion and recommend Chicken Soup for the Soul: It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas – 101 Tales of Holiday Love and Wonder, a collection of feel-good, holiday-themed, non-fiction stories

And, if you turn to page 140, you will read “A Timeless Gift” — written by me! It’s my story of our family calendar and its place in our holiday traditions. 

May your holidays be filled with good stories and good health.

 

Jewelry and Pain Are Not Mutually Exclusive

What is someone in pain “supposed” to look like?

Apparently, some people who know me find it hard to believe my pain can be pulling-my-hair, biting-my-finger-in-agony kind of pain when I’m still wearing all my jewelry. And it’s a lot – bracelets, nine rings, earrings, anklet. 

But guess what?

“Yes, You Can Wear Jewelry and Be in Pain at the Same Time.”

That is the title of my recently published essay. Click here to be re-directed to The Mighty to read it in its entirety.

 

Breaking Down Walls, 5 Minutes at a Time

Back in March (doesn’t that feel like so long ago?), I was set to begin a class offered through the UCLA Extension Writers’ Program. When everything shut down, my class switched from in-person to virtual. 

At the same time, we were figuring out how to best help our son with distance-learning because Los Angeles Unified schools had shut down as well. So I dropped my writing course before it began. 

Since March, I have been writing. Sometimes more than others. 

And since March, I’ve been published. Again, sometimes more than others. (You can check my Published Work page for a complete listing.)

But lately I have felt like something was missing. 

And I realized what it was – being around other writers.

Most writing classes begin with a general introduction of who you are and why you’re there, what your goal is, what you hope to accomplish by being in that particular class. My introduction doesn’t vary a whole lot. I have a pretty consistent writing practice and know how to meet deadlines. (In case you didn’t know, I’m a regular contributor at MomsLA.com.) 

I enroll in writing classes for the people. The energy that comes from surrounding yourself with other writers. Writers who are readers. Writers who read my work, and offer honest feedback, who push me with questions to go deeper and explore further. They let me know what works and what doesn’t work. 

Often, there’s a mix of workshopping and writing in class; short exercises that sometimes develop into longer pieces.

In-person classes aren’t an option right now. And while virtual classes are being offered through UCLA Extension, I haven’t enrolled in any.

But I continue to write.

As an added stimulus, I have begun re-reading Kicking in the Wall: A Year of Writing Exercises, Prompts, and Quotes to Help You Break Through Your Blocks and Reach Your Writing Goals written by Barbara Abercrombie (my favorite instructor in the UCLA Extension Writers’ Program).

If you’re a writer (and as Barbara says, “Writing is a verb. A writer is one who writes”), I recommend this book. It’s gotten me writing – not an assignment for MomsLA or to answer a submissions call I learned about on duotrope.com, but writing not knowing exactly what it may lead to.

May it help you kick in your own wall.

 

Temporary Reality, Permanent Fears

Post-surgery. September 2020

What scares you?

Some fear natural disasters like earthquakes or tornados.

Others fear creatures such as snakes or rats. 

Many fear illness and suffering of any kind.

I’m scared of many things. 

Though I have lived in southern California my entire life, I’m terrified of earthquakes.

I’m scared of harm coming to those I love, and being unable to protect them.

And I’m scared of my autoimmune disease and the very real possibility of my body deteriorating.

Back in September, I had a muscle biopsy on my left leg.

And in the weeks after the surgery, some of my worst fears came true.

You can read the full story, “When My Permanent Fears Became My Temporary Reality,” by clicking here and being re-directed to The Mighty.