Month: June 2023

Braided

Posted on by Wendy Kennar

I am not a baker. Meaning, I’m not a multiple-ingredients, multi-step-recipe kind of baker.

I’m more a Ghirardelli-Dark-Chocolate-Brownie-Mix (which only requires three ingredients) type of baker. 

However, I was so intrigued by the premise of Braided: A Journey of a Thousand Challahs by Beth Ricanati, MD. (And I was tickled to learn that before her challah-baking, Ms. Ricanati counted her brownies, made from a Ghirardelli brownie mix, as her specialty.)

Here’s part of the description from the back cover:

“What if you could bake bread once a week, every week? And what if the act of making bread — mixing and kneading, watching and waiting — could heal your sense of being overwhelmed? It can. This is the surprise that physician-mother Beth Ricanati learned when she started baking challah: that simply stopping and baking bread was the best medicine she could prescribe for women in a fast-paced world.”

And here are some of the passages I marked while reading:

“Actions always speak louder than words: our children absorb and learn by watching us, not necessarily listening to us.”

“This was a big lesson for me. It took making challah again and again to realize that when something goes wrong, it is not always because I did something wrong. ‘Sorry’ used to be one of my favorite words. A guy friend of mine bet me in high school that I couldn’t stop saying sorry. ‘Sorry,’ I replied. Alas, reflexively, I still want to blame myself first, to assume that I must have done something wrong.”

“Waiting for the yeast to proof exercises more than patience. Waiting also exercises humility. It’s the greatest of all character traits, according to the Talmud. Humility supplants the ego, pushes away the tendency for self-centeredness. With humility comes the ability to have empathy.” 

“We can’t always be happy. Sometimes happiness is taken from us. Sometimes terrible things really do go bump in the night. While painting challah with a red-tipped brush may seem childish, may seem frivolous, I look forward to this with almost too much glee. In fact, whenever possible, I insist on doing this step myself, instead of handing it over to a child or a friend or anyone else. I want the reminder. I want the physical reminder that when we have the choice to be happy, we have to grab it. We have to take it and own and cherish it. It is not always ours to choose.”

“I found in making challah that the magic for me is in the process of making challah. No ends-justify-the-means here. What happened as I went through the eleven steps each Friday in this challah recipe is where I really learned to be present. To slow down for a moment each week. To appreciate the here and now. To reconnect with women. I found through these eleven steps that challah is the ultimate soul food for me.
“It was here all the time, I just didn’t see it. I was so concerned with doing the right thing all the time, being the right person at the right time, that I had unknowingly lost the enjoyment, the fabulousness of the here and now.”

Please note: I am including a link to buy the book that I’m highlighting this week. If you use my link, I do make a small commission on your purchase at no additional cost to you. I am working with Bookshop.org which also sends a portion of the profit to support local, independent bookstores.

Still Going

Posted on by Wendy Kennar

One year ago, my family and I were in Maui. (If you missed it, you can read my post about our fantastic trip by clicking here. My son took this photo during our zip lining adventure.)

This year, we’re in the almost-done-planning stage of our summer trip, happening later this summer. (I’ll be writing about this summer’s trip in a blog post next month. Stay tuned!)

If I’m being honest, I do have to admit that I am a bit worried.

The truth is I’m very good at keeping it all together, of making my life, my family’s life, look like everything is under control. Because it is — in many ways. But I’m also dealing with incredible amounts of daily pain. I’m trying to get through my days while struggling with high levels of fatigue, unexpected muscle twitches, and knees that make bending painful.

Will I come home feeling more intense pain than I did before the trip? Maybe. But also, maybe not. 

Will I have hours during our trip when my left leg will feel wobbly and shaky like Jello on a dessert plate? Maybe, but maybe not. 

Two family members have voiced their concerns about the trip. “Won’t it be too much for you?” I was asked.

“Probably,” I answered.

But we’re still going. I am not going to let my chronic illness stop me. 

The Need for Romance Novels

Posted on by Wendy Kennar

A friend of mine and I were talking about the appeal of reading romance novels. More than the appeal — the need we have to read romance novels. 

There is the teacher in me that sincerely believes almost all reading is beneficial (with the exception of awful, hate-fueled reading material). Pure and simple, just like you know drinking water is good for you, reading is good for you too. Reading keeps your mind working. Reading strengthens your vocabulary. Most importantly, I believe reading helps us learn about others. Reading gives us the opportunity to step into less-familiar worlds, and as a result, we have more understanding, more empathy for others. 

Reading romance does all that and more. 

Here are a few reasons why I read romance novels:

  1. Romance novels are predictable in the best way. I don’t have to worry when reading a romance. I’m not nervous or scared while reading. I know things will work out okay, more-than-okay, for the main characters. I can read in a relaxed way, certain there will be a satisfying, leave-me-smiling type of ending.
  2. Romance novels are not work. Reading some books feels like work. They have statistics and dates. Big words and lengthy chapters. Much symbolism and complicated plot lines. Romance novels are a lot easier in that regard, though I do still sometimes find myself looking up a new-to-me word. In a romance, there is no complicated information to process and keep track of as the story goes on.
  3. Romance novels are an escape. I can take a temporary break from real life — the lightbulb that just went out in the bathroom, the plants that need watering, the prescription I need to refill — and slip into another world where I don’t have to do anything. I can just read. And I can do it anywhere. A few pages while standing in line at CVS. Several pages in the car while waiting for my son to be dismissed from school. A few chapters at my neighborhood cafe. 
  4. Romance novels are reminders.  The specifics vary from novel to novel. The age, race, and gender of the characters may differ from our own. But it doesn’t matter. Because the emotions are the same. Reading a romance is a powerful reminder that human beings are more alike than we are different. 
  5. Romance novels provide the opportunity to reframe our perspective. The truth is the world is scary, unpredictable, and messy. And usually when we think about that, we focus on the negative. But, if you slow down, you realize that opening yourself up to another person, falling in love, and maintaining a romantic relationship can also be described as scary, unpredictable, and messy — in the best possible way.

I recently finished reading The Proposal by Jasmine Guillroy and have to share this passage with you:

“WAS THIS WHAT LOVE WAS?

Being happy when you thought about someone; wanting to never stop thinking about them, even when you were fighting; having every damn thing in the grocery store remind you of them, from diapers to sour cream; wanting to be a better writer and friend and person because of how they were and how they made you feel; wanting to be with them, all the time, even though you kept fighting it.”

Readers, I’m curious. Do you read romance novels? 

If you do, feel free to share why you read them. And if you have any favorites you’d like to recommend, please do so.

If you don’t, feel free to share why you don’t read romances and tell me about what you enjoy reading instead.

Affiliate links:  Please note, I have included a link to buy the book that I’m quoting from.  If you do use my link, I will make a small commission on your purchase at no additional cost to you.  I have chosen to affiliate with Bookshop.org, which also sends a portion of the profit to support local, independent bookstores. It is my hope that you will choose to support them in their mission to “help local, independent bookstores thrive in the age of ecommerce.”

My What If Year

Posted on by Wendy Kennar

Do you ever think about other careers you might have had? Other choices you might have made? Other paths you might have taken?

And what if you had the chance to put much of your current-daily-real-life on pause and try out one of those unchosen careers? Would you take the chance to explore?

Alisha Fernandez Miranda did! And she wrote a memoir about it called My What If Year. 

From the back cover of the book:  “Delightfully irreverent, My What If Year recounts the adventures of a successful, Latina CEO and mother of twins who — on the cusp of turning forty — takes a break from her job for one year to explore the dream careers she never pursued. Alisha’s hilarious internship adventure takes her to Broadway, the London art scene, a posh Scottish hotel, and the workout world.”

Such a fun read! Here are a few of my favorite passages:

During her first internship, Ms. Miranda writes:  “How long had it been since I had been happy? For so long I thought the pursuit of happiness had been what was guiding me, but now I wasn’t so sure.” 

“I had no regrets, but it dawned on me that maybe my internship adventure, was, in a way, about revisiting that time of my life, a time when all the pages ahead were blank and unwritten.”

“Leaning into my strengths let me ignore my weaknesses. Yes, it allowed me to achieve and find success in the things I was good at. But I was starting to question whether I needed to be spending more time nurturing those tiny seeds of things I was terrible at — serving dinner, for example — to see if maybe they might blossom into something more, given some effort and some mistakes. Maybe it didn’t matter if it was ‘the best’ if I was doing something I loved. I didn’t even know what being the best meant anymore in this new world.”

“Truthfully, I was looking forward to seeing everyone. I was no longer as afraid of being subsumed in these other identities and knew that the core of who I was, or whoever I was figuring out I wanted to be, at least, was strong enough to stand on its own. In fact, the heft of my obligations no longer seemed overpowering; I had started to feel comforted by them, like a weighted blanket that kept me grounded.”

“ ‘Joy’ — such a simple, small word that holds so much complexity. It’s more than happiness. It’s ebullience. It’s celebration. A party all day, every day, where everyone is invited. People think joy is elusive, and they’re right; its impermanence is what makes it all the more important to cultivate, nurture, and appreciate it whenever it comes your way.” 

“But as I aged, I came to know that nothing is guaranteed. If you wanted to enjoy as much of life as possible, you had to put some intentionality behind seeking joy. You had to pay attention. If you didn’t it was likely to slip through your fingers.” 

“I didn’t want to have to keep taking side paths and then retracing my steps back to the main road. I wanted the detours to be the main road. Over the past few months, I had finally gotten, for brief moments in time, the chance to be the versions of myself I had seen in the shadows of my memories. I loved the chance to step into their shoes, but I didn’t want to be any of them, really. I wanted to be original me, but with the freedom to take the pieces from each and carry them with me as I continued on ahead.”

“One of the things I appreciated most about being an intern was the ability to not feel overwhelmed by my mental load. Making space meant that, all of a sudden, my brain had more room to think about other things and to consider other possibilities. Ideas for new projects sprang up like daffodils in the springtime. There was a lot in there that had been obscured by the constant to-do lists. My internships had given me a chance to see those things clearly.”

“I didn’t know much about what the next chapter of my life would hold, but I knew I needed to embody the spirit of being an intern in whatever I did: be adaptable; learn to fail; be okay with not being the best; let go of the plan sometimes; and above all, listen, learn, and find joy in every day.” 

Please note: I am including a link to buy the book that I’m highlighting this week. If you use my link, I do make a small commission on your purchase at no additional cost to you. I am working with Bookshop.org which also sends a portion of the profit to support local, independent bookstores.

(I apologize if any part of this week’s blog format looks strange. There may be a number or letter randomly showing up. Please, let’s just pretend it’s not there.)