memoir

Wendy’s Words on Substack

Posted on by Wendy Kennar
A screenshot of my Substack

For about a year now, in addition to writing my weekly blog, I have also written a Substack. If you’re a Substack subscriber, you know my Substack would arrive in your inbox every other Sunday. I called it Substack Sunday. 

This week, I’m using this blog post to tell you about some of the changes I’ve made to my Substack. 

My Substack is called “Wendy’s Words,” and I will now publish it on the last Sunday of each month. Think of my Substack as my author newsletter, a format that will allow me to share more widely than I share here on my weekly blog. 

This past Sunday, September 27th was the first re-imagined issue of “Wendy’s Words.” 

But there’s something missing — many of you, my blog readers. 

I invite you, my blog readers, to subscribe and also become my Substack readers.

All you have to do is sign up with your email address, and once a month you’ll receive Wendy’s Words in your inbox. 

In each monthly Substack, I’ll be sharing:

– Links to my last four blog posts

– Book-related news (which may include information about my memoir-in-essays and/or book events I went to/watched/am looking forward to)

– A writing prompt

– A peek into Wendy’s World (which may be something chronic illness-related, something writing-related, and/or something just Wendy-related)

– Something to watch (such as a video or interview that caught my attention)

Friends, I appreciate your support here on my blog. Please join me on Substack — it will be another way we can connect and share. 

Thank you!

I almost forgot — I like to do book giveaways for my Substack subscribers. I will now be doing at least one giveaway a month. To celebrate the new format of my monthly Substack, I will randomly draw a subscriber’s name on Sunday, October 4th. Be sure to subscribe so you’ll have a chance to win a free book — The Taste of Anger, a memoir by my friend Diane Vonglis Parnell.

Please note: I am including a link to buy the book that I’m mentioning this week. If you use my link, I do make a small commission on your purchase at no additional cost to you. I am working with Bookshop.org which also sends a portion of the profit to support local, independent bookstores.

The “Why” Behind My Book

Posted on by Wendy Kennar
A Woman holding three binders in her lap sits at a desk, laptop open on the desk.

“Why this book?”

“Why you?”

“Why now?”

Those three “why” questions are commonly asked of authors. They may be asked before the book is published, such as when querying agents or speaking with editors. They may also be asked during a panel discussion or special event celebrating the book’s publication.

Basically, an author is making the argument that: their book is needed in the world, at this time, and that the author is the best person to write this book. 

This week, as I think ahead to my memoir’s publication (Spring 2028!!!) and my own author career, I wanted to share my answers to these questions with you, my readers. Because you all have been reading my words here each week, and you all are an important part of my author journey. 

“Why this book?”

This is the book I needed to read when I became ill. Except I couldn’t find anything like it. The same thing happened once I received my diagnosis, and again when I retired from my teaching career. I searched for the stories of others experiencing similar situations of invisible disability and chronic pain. Except I couldn’t find any such stories. I wanted to know it wasn’t just me who struggled to explain outwardly-invisible pain to a young child. I wanted to know how other chronic illness patients adapted when their dream career was no longer possible because of poor health. 

“Why you?”

My memoir could only be told by me. However, though the specifics are mine, the themes of my book are universal. It may take different forms, but we all live with hidden pain. Scars not immediately visible. Loss and grief when the life we thought we would be living is no longer possible in the same way. It feels like I have always considered myself a writer. I have always found solace and clarity in getting my thoughts down on paper. And, I use my writing as a way for me to teach. I may no longer be able to teach children in a classroom, but I can teach readers that not all disabilities look the same. 

“Why now?”

My book is scheduled to be published in 2028, but I have been writing about my invisible disability for well over a decade now. I didn’t realize that as I wrote one essay, then another, and yet another, I was also writing a book — a cohesive collection of my experiences as a mom, a wife, a teacher, a woman living with a chronic illness causing chronic pain. And the older I get, the more I realize that we are all dealing with something. We’re all carrying around pain of some sort, scars and wounds that might not be evident at first glance but are still very much a part of us. And that’s only going to increase as humans are living longer, which means more of us will likely be dealing with health issues as we age.

In Spring 2028, I may be asked these very questions. It feels only right to first share my answers here, with you. 

Sit, Cinderella, Sit

Posted on by Wendy Kennar
Paperback book with red background, yellow letters, and photos of a dog

I enjoy reading memoir. Not only because I write memoir and personal essay, but because I’m curious, and I enjoy learning about someone else’s life story. 

And I’m lucky because, through the gift of a memoir, I get that front-row seat to someone else’s lived experience. The author generously shares a moment (or several moments) in their life with me, the reader. Maybe they hope their story will resonate with me. Maybe they’re hoping their story will contribute an additional perspective to a conversation already happening in society. Maybe they hope their memoir will serve as a bridge, connecting readers and the author to each other. 

As a reader of memoir, I gain insight into the emotions and experiences of other human beings. And I like to think those insights make me a more compassionate member of the human race. 

Which brings me to the topic of this week’s blog post — Sit, Cinderella, Sit: A Mostly True Memoir written by Lisa Cheek. 

Ms. Cheek’s memoir really did give me an awareness of a career, a trip, a life that I may never have otherwise learned about. 

Sit, Cinderella, Sit is the story of an editor (of television commercials and films).

Sit, Cinderella, Sit is the story of a dog owner and dog lover.

Sit, Cinderella, Sit is the story of a woman who doesn’t speak Chinese spending several months in China for work. 

Allow me to share some of my favorite passages:

“For me, coffee was a necessary luxury. It was how I spoiled myself. Between the anticipation, the event, and the enjoyment, it was life at its finest. Coffee was the most important ritual of the day. It was like prayer. It brought me back to life each morning. Got the juices flowing. Made me take a second, third, and fourth look at things. I felt like I could do anything after a really good cup of coffee.”

I loved the author’s unique descriptions: 

“His tail wagged like a windshield wiper in a rainstorm.”

“I stepped over an overflowing trash can. A black banana peel thrown over the top, looking like a dead octopus in a sea of trash, stared back at me.”

“Mounds of clementine oranges in bright, wrinkly skins with stems and leaves still attached appeared just picked.”

“She had a square face and two triangle ears, which folded over like a pita bread sandwich that matched the color of her heart marking.”

“With the calmness of a bomb expert and the focus of a tightrope walker, Vin rode the edge of that cliff with the speed of a race car driver.”

“…I took in the lush colors — a masterpiece in nature. Saturated in mist, the mountains became a deep velvety brown, less jagged and harsh, soft like a watercolor. Terraced lime-green rice fields bathed in drizzle with golden yellow flowers sprinkled throughout. Far below, the swirling blueish-green Yangtze rushed along the banks, forceful and impatient, on its way to its next destination.”

“I’d lived alone my whole adult life, until Ron Howard moved in, so sharing a house with thirteen men who didn’t speak English was something I never even knew one could do. But here I was — in the middle of Shaxi, in a guesthouse just off the main square, living with a baker’s dozen.” (Note – Ron Howard is the author’s dog.)

“Soon the song changed to ‘Thriller,’ which brought the whole party out to the sunken garden. Everyone knew all the dance moves — each movement made with the exactness of Jackson himself. No one missed a beat. Not a limb was out of place. It was a performance the icon himself would have been proud of.” 

“Here, in a tiny village thousands of years old in the middle of nowhere, Michael Jackson’s music and dance was the language we all knew. It connected us in a way that no spoken word ever could or would.”

“… I thought about all the people who had loved and cared for me, who didn’t speak a word of English, yet there was so much deep communication — heartfelt communication. Kindness is the universal language and can be spoken anywhere without uttering a word. It’s the magic in our lives.”

Title page of a book, with a personalized message to me, signed by the author

Note — this memoir was published in 2025. Ms. Cheek’s second memoir, The Big Day: Saying “I Do” Only to Discover I Didn’t will be published next week and is available for pre-order now. 

Please note: I am including a link to buy the book that I’m highlighting this week. If you use my link, I do make a small commission on your purchase at no additional cost to you. I am working with Bookshop.org which also sends a portion of the profit to support local, independent bookstores.


Coming to a Bookstore Near You

Posted on by Wendy Kennar
My husband took this picture as I finished signing my contract.

Friends, I have news.

Big news. 

Glorious news. 

Shout-it-from-the-rooftop kind of news.

In early 2028, I will become a published author! 

My memoir-in-essays has found a home with She Writes Press! 

Let me back up a bit:

I started writing my memoir without realizing I was writing a memoir. In fact, it was my wonderful therapist who pointed out to me that all my published essays could really be the basis of a book. 

In 2021, I started working with a book coach, and with her invaluable help and guidance my collection of individual essays became a more cohesive manuscript.

In the following years, my manuscript wasn’t always my number one priority. For a while, it took a back seat to everything else I was doing and spending my energy on.

But that’s the past.

Now, I’m a member of the She Writes Press community. Because She Writes Press is more than a publishing house; it is a community of supportive female writers. In fact, I know a few authors who have published their memoirs with SWP, and before signing my contract, I spoke with them, asking them about their publishing experience. They generously answered all my questions, and only had good things to say. They spoke very highly of the entire experience — from their cover design, to their book launch events, to holding their books in their hands for the first time. And, they spoke to me about the community they had joined — the community of She Writes Press authors. 

Writing can be a lonely endeavor. Sending my book baby out into the world definitely won’t be. 

If you’re not familiar with She Writes Press, allow me to share this description (provided by SWP):

“She Writes Press is an award-winning hybrid publishing company that’s both mission-driven and community-oriented. Led by Publisher Brooke Warner, She Writes Press has published 1,200 books to date, with a specific goal to elevate women’s voices and level the playing field for indie authors. In 2016, She Writes Press won the Book Industry Study Group’s Innovator Award, and in 2019, the press was named Indie Publisher of the Year by the Independent Book Publishing Professionals Group. She Writes Press is a multi-award-winning publisher whose books have won over 2,000 awards. The press’s commitment to excellence has made it the gold standard in hybrid publishing since its founding in 2012.”

Plus, I encourage you to check out their website; you may find your next read there!

Meanwhile, thank you thank you thank you for being with me on this journey. This part of the ride is just beginning!

Happy to Help: Adventures of a People Pleaser

Posted on by Wendy Kennar

I knew I needed to read this book when I saw the title and front cover. The book — Happy to Help: Adventures of a People Pleaser by Amy Wilson. 

The topic of this essay collection is something I can relate to. I am a people pleaser. I am always looking for ways to be of help and make life easier for those around me.

Naturally, I started reading and had my highlighter and sticky notes ready.

This week, I’m sharing some of the passages that I most enjoyed and/or most resonated with:

“You look like you have your act together. Hell, you do. But you’ve got way too much on your plate. You’re waiting for someone, anyone, to notice and say, ‘Hey, let me carry some of that.’ 
“Instead, they say, ‘Why don’t you try carrying less?’
“Or, ‘Hey, I think you dropped something.’
“And they’re so right, they’re so exactly right. You cannot handle it all. You have to let some of it go. But then you look at all the things you’re carrying, and you wonder what exactly it is you’re supposed to put down when the answer feels like nothing.
“I’m here to tell you that you’re right too.
“You do a lot. (Somebody has to.) A lot of it is for other people.” 

“Sociologist Allison Daminger calls it ‘cognitive labor’ and explains that any task a caregiver completes has four steps: anticipating the need, identifying options for meeting the need, making the decision, and, finally, monitoring the progress. Using this math, each ‘invisible’ thing on the list of a woman with too much to do is actually four things. No wonder we can’t seem to shorten our lists.”

“Finding the time to do something this important to me is possible, but only if I make myself invisible while I do it. Only if I take the time that is required away from time I would otherwise be sleeping or exercising or connecting with friends. If I need to find more overhead, my basic needs are where I will trim the fat.” 

“My list isn’t too long because I procrastinate. My list is too long because there are too many things on it.”

“In my household I’m told that I’m ‘just better’ at things than the other people who live here, things like wrapping presents, remembering passwords, and knowing whose clothes are whose when they come out of the dryer. These little tasks — the noticing, the remembering, the ordering, the tracking — are the sort of multitasking most women stuff into the crevices of our attention, adding LEGOs to the online Target cart for an upcoming birthday party present while smiling and nodding on our Microsoft Teams meeting like nothing else is happening.” 

“The problem is that once we as women accept that we are ‘just better’ at doing these small things, we tend to keep doing them; and in order to also keep doing the big things, we have no choice but to multitask.” 

“Studies have shown that mothers are the preferred garbage receptacle. Adolescents of all genders have been shown to be more likely to direct verbal abuse at their mothers than at their fathers, romantic interests, or friends. That might be because most of us believe female parents to be more capable of the self-restraint required in response.” 

“I wasn’t always a perfect Giving Tree. When it would all get to be too much — when my work of worry boiled over into irritability or anger — my family would be baffled by whatever escaped my personal volcano. It hadn’t been apparent I was struggling. I hadn’t asked for support. They weren’t even sure what I was so upset about, since I was usually pretty good at keeping the pattern of their daily lives smooth and undisturbed.” 

“When we have to do the work of worry, hiding it might be a necessary part of the job.
“But am I supposed to hide my work of worry from everyone? Am I always to walk through difficult times acting like what I’m carrying isn’t heavy? I can’t accept that a mother’s true path to a deserving life is always to worry more and show it less. But sometimes I’m not sure what to do instead.”

“When we are in difficult seasons of life, they are hard because they are hard, not because there’s something wrong with us. They are hard because they are real, not because we make them harder on purpose. And if others don’t always perceive us as struggling, it’s because we’ve become quite capable of handling more than should be expected.”

“I can ‘really love’ people without making them happy. Those people never expected me to guarantee them happiness in the first place. And those people get to be loved by me no matter what their emotional states are, no matter what they’re struggling with. It was never mine to ensure that the perfect peace and happiness of my loved ones was achieved. Forever fixing our loved ones’ lives isn’t the point. Our job is to love them while they suffer.”

These next passages are pulled from a chapter mid-way through the book. Sections of a chapter about the health challenges the author’s young son was experiencing were quite reminiscent of my own health challenges and the frustration I have felt when doctors couldn’t provide answers.

“Weird things were happening, things that couldn’t be completely explained by an abnormal EEG, but since they did not seem to be dangerous, it was professionally preferable not to offer an explanation. Assuming nothing meant doctors could allow his condition to remain unexplained and send us home without troubling afterthought.”  

“In modern medical speak, ‘idiopathic’ means ‘we have no idea.’ It doesn’t mean what has been observed is false or manufactured or imaginary, although sometimes of course that might be the physician’s suspicion. But it also doesn’t mean an answer. It means acceptance that there might never be an explanation. It means acceptance that you may never know for sure.” 

Readers who have just navigated your child’s junior or senior year of high school, will find much to relate to in the chapter, “Cherish Every Moment.” Here is one such paragraph:

“Thus begins the rite of passage millions of parents of rising high-school seniors endure each year, bookending the journeys that began when those same children first crossed their doorsteps in carefully chosen infant car seats. And it’s quite a closing act. Before a child leaves home for college, a parent must perform what feels like the most momentous act of service for that child they have completed to date: helping them find a place where they can gain acceptance and then stand a chance of decent happiness as they begin their adult lives.”

How about you, dear readers? Have you read Amy Wilson’s essay collection? Do you consider yourself to be a “people pleaser”?

Please note: I am including a link to buy the book that I’m highlighting this week. If you use my link, I do make a small commission on your purchase at no additional cost to you. I am working with Bookshop.org which also sends a portion of the profit to support local, independent bookstores.

A Podcast, An Essay, And Why I Continue to Submit

Posted on by Wendy Kennar

Friends, in this week’s blog post I’m pleased to share some writing-related news.

But first — Sunday, May 10th is Mother’s Day, and I understand that it can be a day of difficult emotions for some. If this applies to you, please feel free to skip over the next two paragraphs. I don’t want anything I write to add to your discomfort.

In case you’re looking for a gift for a special grandmother in your life, may I suggest Chicken Soup for the Soul: Being Grandma? You may remember back in March, I shared the good news that my personal essay, Birthday Buddies, is one of the 101 stories included in this heartfelt collection. 

In addition, did you know there is a Chicken Soup for the Soul podcast? I’m so pleased to share that my story, Birthday Buddies, was recently featured on the Chicken Soup for the Soul podcast, in the episode titled, “Two Stories about Play Dates with Grandchildren.” The entire episode is about fifteen minutes long, and my story begins at about 7:05 into the podcast. (You can access the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, or wherever you get your podcasts. And, please feel free to post a review!)

And, I have one more writing-related bit of news to share! I am so delighted and proud to tell you my personal essay, “On a Scale Of…”, has won first place in the 2026 Streetlight Essay/Memoir Contest. My essay, along with the second and third place essays, will be published in the 2026 Summer Issue of Streetlight. I’ll let you know when it’s available. 

Just the other day, I had told my mom I was getting one rejection after the other. Because that’s how it works in the writing-world, at least this is how it generally works for me. 

A partial screenshot of my Submittable page.

I write. I submit. And usually I get rejected. 

Last week, I received an email stating, “Unfortunately, this piece is not the right fit for the anthology at this time,” and three days later another email (for a different submission) telling me, “Unfortunately, the other nonfiction editors and I have decided not to accept your piece for our upcoming issue.” (These are actual quotes I pulled from two different email rejections.) 

So writer friends, keep at it. Keep writing. Keep submitting. 

Honestly, I almost didn’t enter the Streetlight contest. But then again, there is no chance of me winning anything or getting published unless I submit.

Please note: I am including a link to buy the book that I’m highlighting this week. If you use my link, I do make a small commission on your purchase at no additional cost to you. I am working with Bookshop.org which also sends a portion of the profit to support local, independent bookstores.


Brooke Shields Is Not Allowed to Get Old

Posted on by Wendy Kennar

Brooke Shields and I have a few things in common. We’re both wives. We’re both mothers. We both have brown hair and brown eyes. 

And, we’re both “women of a certain age.” 

Ms. Shields is a bit older than me. (Nine years to be exact.) She’s in her very early 60’s, and I just recently celebrated my 50th birthday. 

Knowing this big birthday of mine was coming up, I was curious about the memoir Brooke Shields published in 2024 — Brooke Shields Is Not Allowed to Get Old: Thoughts on Aging as a Woman.

I loved the dedication the author wrote:

“To all the women in this new era of life: It’s an unexpected, scary, emotional, bittersweet time — and yet also refreshingly beautiful and exciting. Please give yourself room for mistakes, successes, and joy. Don’t be afraid. Be excited for what’s to come. And guess what? No matter what happens, you’ll figure it out. You always have!”

Here’s my big confession — the book was better than I thought it would be. I definitely wasn’t expecting footnotes and studies being cited. The author did such a good job of being honest and authentic when writing about the period of time when a woman’s life drastically changes; a time which can include menopause, children leaving home, career pivots, and body changes. I thought the book would mostly be centered on the author’s own experiences. And while she does include that here, there really is so much in this book that applies to all women.

Here are a few of my favorite passages:

“We are always chasing, never appreciating, and what runs through my mind is, Ugh, where is the justice?? Why are we forever criticizing ourselves and our bodies while seeking ridiculous perfection? Why do we never see how unique and special we are? And why, when we finally take the pressure off or count our blessings or just enjoy who we are, is it practically too late?”

“There came a day when I was simply tired of judging myself and feeling like I wasn’t enough. I was over the angst. I didn’t want to be mean to myself anymore, and I started to wonder where I got the idea that I needed to be perfect at everything anyway. What would it feel like in my body if I told myself I’m smart, I’m talented, I’m strong, I’m beautiful, I’m a good person and friend? I asked myself. What if I just assumed I was good enough as is? Turns out, it’s liberating!”

“Just because you think about death occasionally or recognize its inevitability — it doesn’t mean you’re close to death. It means you appreciate life. You live more thoughtfully, more fully. You approach relationships with more gratitude. You use your body a bit more intentionally.“

“Sometimes shit just happens. It’s hard to accept that, because it feels like chaos, but it’s the truth. It doesn’t mean you aren’t thankful enough or that you’re moving too fast or your priorities are out of whack. Sometimes there is no rhyme or reason.” 

“I look at what my body has done for me — bearing and nourishing children, surviving trauma, healing from harm — and I have such appreciation for it. The entirety of what my body is capable of makes me proud, and recognizing its wisdom and resilience allows me to see it beyond the limitations of body image. But that’s a perspective that comes with age. And experience.”

“… I’m a work in progress just like anyone else. And thank God for that. It’s far more fun than thinking you have it all figured out.”

“Still, I try to treat my daughters like adults these days, because they are adults. They are my babies, but they are adults, and I want to be their ally. I want them to always trust me.” 

“Do I want to do this? If I had to boil down the joy and freedom of aging to one question, that would be it. The fact that I’m finally at a place where I can ask myself if I want something, answer honestly, and act accordingly— that’s the joy of this time.” 

Friends, have any of you read Brooke Shields is Not Allowed to Get Old? What did you think of it? I’d love to chat about our experiences reading this book. 
Any thoughts about getting older? Have you learned something new? Adapted a new outlook? If you’re comfortable, please share. 

Please note: I am including a link to buy the book that I’m highlighting this week. If you use my link, I do make a small commission on your purchase at no additional cost to you. I am working with Bookshop.org which also sends a portion of the profit to support local, independent bookstores.

I Don’t Know What You Know Me From

Posted on by Wendy Kennar

The book is called, I Don’t Know Where You Know Me From: My Life as a Co-Star. But I know exactly where I know Judy Greer from. The Wedding Planner. 27 Dresses. 13 Going on 30. What Women Want. 

Obviously you know I’m not an actress and I have no immediate connection to the world of movies. So why did I pick up this memoir?

Many reasons:

1 – Because I browsed in a local independent bookshop and since the #22in22 challenge, I don’t visit an indie bookshop without buying something. 

2- It’s signed by the author.

3 – I did like Judy Greer’s characters in the movies I listed above.

4-  I’m a memoir-writer and am curious about other memoirs. How do authors structure their books? (In this case, the book is organized into three sections: Part 1 – Early Life; Part 2 – Hollywood Life, Part 3 – Real Life.)

5 –  As someone who has had difficulty in deciding where my memoir ends, I’m always interested in reading how someone made the “where-to-end-the-book decision. (Lliving with an invisible disability doesn’t have a clear-cut ending point. It’s not like I start and then finish treatment as is often the case with other illness stories.)

6 –  I’m curious about other people. I truly believe everyone has a story.

The memoir is a fast and fun read. And surprisingly, quite relatable. Which is actually reason number 7 why I purchased this memoir — Human beings are so much more alike than we often think we are. I have never peed in a stall next to a star. (At least, I don’t think I have. In Part 2, there is actually a chapter called, “Celebrities I’ve Peed Next To.”) Yet, I did find myself nodding, smiling, laughing because a lot of what Ms. Greer writes about is quite relatable. 

“And I am the John Hughes generation. I was waiting for my Blane, my Jake Ryan, and I am not a saint, I’m sorry, but I was a little jealous when Nicole got to go to a dance while I stayed home, wrote in my diary, and watched my VHS tape of Pretty in Pink again.” 

Pretty much all of Ms. Greer’s second chapter, “I Used to Be More Ugly,” resonated with me. In fact, there is one photo that reminds me of a Halloween costume I wore many years ago, when I was trying to dress like Madonna and Cyndi Lauper. 

“My mom told me when I was little that I needed to toughen up, but I didn’t think I would have to rely on that advice as an adult. Shouldn’t I be tough by now? I want to be beef jerky, not whipped cream.”

“… it made me nostalgic for those times, when we were all on a more even playing field. I want to go back to simpler times, when people were famous for their specific talent, when actresses looked more natural, when their faces moved, when I knew the names of the people in the magazines.”
Ms. Greer goes on: “I guess I just miss the times when people could just look how they looked and it was personality, talent, and charisma that mattered most, not who wore it best, …” 

Also highly recommend the chapter, “Ashton Kutcher Gave My Dad a Harley.” It will renew your faith that there are good people out in the world and that wonderful surprises can, and do, happen. As Ms. Greer writes, “Sometimes for no reason at all, someone does something unbelievable, unselfish, and generous.”

I enjoyed reading about Ms. Greer’s idea for a perfume named, “‘Intolerance, for the woman who just can’t take it anymore.’ It’s inspired by bad drivers, people who don’t use their left-hand turn signal, people who don’t use their right-hand turn signal, tardy friends, line cutters, slow (or worse, chatty) checkout clerks, music playing while on hold, faulty DVRs, airplane seat kickers, airplane seat headrest grabbers, loud cell-phone talkers, text-and-walkers, people who don’t silence their phone in the theater, and L.A. traffic.” 

Also highly recommend the “Drugstore Therapy” chapter. “I’ve yet to have a problem so huge that a midnight trip to a twenty-four-hour drugstore couldn’t give me at least a few moments of calm and clarity.” She goes on, “… but there is something about a late-night drugstore run that promises change, and in these moments, all I really want is change. I want to not have the problem I am having.” 

“Sometimes I do wish I could just have the same job every day; it seems comforting to me — to work with the same people all the time, know your salary every year, know when you can take a vacation and plan it. I think I could get used to that. A little stability would be so different, and I find myself daydreaming about it, especially now that I’m married and have stepkids.”

I also recommend Ms. Greer’s Manifesto. “There’s a lot of peaks and valleys in the life I’ve chosen, but my mission statement reminds me to focus on what matters most. When life is awesome, it keeps my head from getting too big, and when things are shitty, it reminds me that my life is still pretty awesome.”

Friends, have you read Ms. Greer’s memoir? What movie have you seen that included Judy Greer in its cast? Let me know in the comments.  

Also, I announced this on Instagram but allow me to share it here: my friend, author Nicole Annbury, recently published her second novel, The Signature Line. If you subscribe to my Substack, you will be entered into a drawing to win a signed copy of The Signature Line. The drawing will take place on Friday, February 20th. So be sure to subscribe!


Please note: I am including a link to buy the book that I’m highlighting this week. If you use my link, I do make a small commission on your purchase at no additional cost to you. I am working with Bookshop.org which also sends a portion of the profit to support local, independent bookstores.

Broken (in the best possible way)

Posted on by Wendy Kennar

Jenny Lawson has been an author on my want-to-read list for a while now. I had seen, and remembered, her books — mainly because her covers are incredibly unique and absolutely do stand out and you can’t easily forget a cover that features a taxidermic roadkill raccoon. (That’s the cover of her nonfiction book, Furiously Happy.) I subscribe to Jenny’s blog, where she is known as “The Bloggess.” And, if I ever get to San Antonio, Texas I plan on visiting Nowhere Bookshop, the independent bookstore Ms. Lawson founded. 

In fact, I purchased Broken (in the best possible way) near the end of 2024, complete with one of Ms. Lawson’s well-known personalized messages. A year later, I read the book and only have positive things to say (I mean, write) about it. 

From the back of the book: “In Broken, Jenny brings readers on her mental and physical health journey, offering heartbreaking and hilarious anecdotes along the way.” 

Not only did I place a sticky note on many pages of the book, I actually laughed out loud several times, too! (The chapter, “Six Times I’ve Lost My Shoes While Wearing Them: A List that Shouldn’t Exist,” is absolutely laugh-out-loud-funny!) 

This week, I share with you some of my favorite passages. (Keyword – some; I simply con’t include them all.)

“It’s weird because we often try to present our fake, shiny, happy selves to others and make sure we’re not wearing too-obvious pajamas at the grocery store, but really, who wants to see that level of fraud? No one. What we really want is to know we’re not alone in our terribleness. We want to appreciate the failure that makes us perfectly us and wonderfully relatable to every other person out there who is also pretending that they have their shit together and didn’t just eat that onion ring that fell on the floor. Human foibles are what make us us, and the art of mortification is what brings us all together.” 



“Be good. Be kind. Love each other. Fuck everything else. The only thing that matters is how you feel and how you’ve made others feel. And I feel okay (for the moment), and I make others feel okay by being a barometer of awkwardness and self-doubt.” 

“I try to look on the bright side. If I were still working in HR I’d have to be on disability now, but since I work from home I can adjust my schedule to my broken body and my mind. I can still afford the expensive medications and doctors’ bills and there are a lot of people who can’t. I’m lucky. I could be sicker. I could be dead.”

“But I’ll keep going. And I’ll keep fighting. And I’ll keep forgiving myself for being flawed and human, and if I can’t write a funny chapter I’ll write a chapter like this. One that might be a little pathetic, might not make sense to anyone but me, but is still true. Exactly like me.” 

I highly recommend the chapter, “These Truisms Leave Out a Lot of the Truth.” Ms. Lawson talks about those books “filled with small phrases and truisms that are supposed to be inspirational. And they were. In that I read them all and promptly added the parts that the authors had left out.” Ms. Lawson explains, “people tell you to ‘take the bull by the horns,’ but why? It’s a bull. Where are you taking it? And if you are going to take it somewhere I’m pretty sure you don’t drag it by the horns. The rule of bulls is avoid the horns. They aren’t bicycle handlebars.” 

Additionally, the chapter, “An Open Letter to My Health Insurance Company” is heartbreaking and honest and hilarious. This chapter needs to be given and read by every pharmacy. Every doctor. Every hospital. Every insurance company. Taken from the first paragraph: “It was a mistake to think that an insurance company claiming to want to help you in your sickest hours was anything other than a scam … after all, you are here to make money. And I am here to live. And it seems those things are sometimes mutually exclusive.”

“I don’t think I’m alone in this. I think many of us struggle with the thought that it’s okay to take care of ourselves, and it’s strange that it’s a struggle to treat ourselves as kindly as we treat the dog. The dog needs walks and healthy choices and water and play and sleep and naps and bacon and more naps. And love. I need that too. And so do you. It’s not just a gift we give to ourselves … it’s a duty.”

“… we are changed by life… it puts its teeth in us, it leaves its handprints and marks and scars on us. And as much as we try to ignore those things, in the end they make us who we are. For good or for bad, we are changed and touched and broken and mended and scarred. And those marks (inside and out) tell a story. They tell our story.” 

Also, the whole “Souls” chapter. Beautiful! That’s all I’m going to say. You really have to read it yourself.

And I’ll end this post with the sentences Ms. Lawson wrote to end her book: “Good night. Be safe. Be kind to each other. Be kind to yourself. And if no one else has said it yet, thank you for being you. You are magic. Never doubt it, my friend.”

Friends, have you read Broken? Or any of Jenny Lawson’s books? 

You can pre-order signed copies of Jenny’s new book How to Be Okay When Nothing Is Okay: Tips and Tricks That Kept Me Alive, Happy, and Creative in Spite of Myself from Nowhere Bookshop. The book publishes on March 31st, 2026.

Wishing you all a peaceful, joyful New Year! May it be filled with light, love, laughter, and books. And lots of reading time!

Please note: I am including a link to buy the book that I’m highlighting this week. If you use my link, I do make a small commission on your purchase at no additional cost to you. I am working with Bookshop.org which also sends a portion of the profit to support local, independent bookstores.

Will You Join Me, Please?

Posted on by Wendy Kennar

Hi Friends,

I don’t one-hundred percent know what I’m doing in terms of my writing career. (To be honest, I never dreamed I would even have a “writing career.”) I do know that I’m always learning, I’m always trying to improve — in terms of my writing craft, the way in which I share my writing, and the ways I connect with readers and other writers.

I have written a weekly blog for over a decade. In those very early years, before I invested in my website (www.wendykennar.com), each week’s post was written about any and all subjects. Anything I felt like writing and sharing I did. It was random, and because of the lack of cohesiveness, I think it was harder to find readers who would subscribe and regularly read my posts. It was much more difficult to form a community back then. 

Then, I re-organized my blog and wrote about one of three B’s in my life — Books (because writers are also readers), Boys (I’m the mother of a son and a former elementary school teacher), and Bodies (I live with an invisible disability). 

I have since deleted the “Boys” section, because my son is almost an adult. I don’t write about him and our interactions and relationship in the same way. Plus, I haven’t been a teacher now for twelve years. 

And, in another move that is also related to learning and growing, I have started a Substack account. Some of my blog subscribers have signed up for my Substack, currently known as “Wendy’s Weekly Words.” (wendykennar.substack.com) But for the most part, my Substack subscribers and my blog subscribers function as two distinct groups. 

I would like to change that. Here’s how:

I will continue posting my weekly blog here at www.wendykennar.com . My blog posts will generally be focused on books and bodies. Each week, I’ll continue writing about something I have read or my experiences with a chronic illness, life with chronic pain, and/or living with an invisible disability. 

And, I will be writing a bi-weekly Substack (wendykennar.substack.com), which will not just be a copy of what I have up on my blog. (Which is the way my relatively young Substack has been used up to this point.) 

My bi-weekly Substack will now include:

–  links to my recent blog posts in case you missed them 

– a writing prompt

– a wondering (something I’m confused about or have questions about. Maybe you have the answers.)

– a recommendation (something I read or watched or listened to)

– and when I can, a couple of famous dates in history that are somehow relevant to my writing and what I share. 

That’s what I’m planning to do. 

Here’s what I’m asking of you, please:

If you haven’t already done so, please subscribe to both my Substack (wendykennar.substack.com) and Blog (www.wendykennar.com). If you already are subscribed at both places, please just let me know in the comments section on one of my sites. (It would be great if you also followed me on Instagram @wendykennar. That way you’re sure not to miss out on anything I write or share.)

Those of you who subscribe to both my Substack and Blog, will then have a chance to win a book in a drawing. Names will be placed into a hat and I will randomly draw one reader’s name. As a thank you, I will mail you a personalized copy of Chicken Soup For the Soul: It’s Beginning to Look a Lot like Christmas. (My story, “A Timeless Gift,” is included in this collection.)

October 2019

This is all new to me. I’ve never done anything like this before. Maybe I’ll need to make some changes down the road. But for now, we’re going to give this a try. I hope you will continue being with me on this journey. Living with a chronic illness and writing can both be pretty isolating. I hope you know how much I value your support, how much your being here with me really does help!

Sign up by next week’s blog post on Wednesday, December 17th. That way I can have the drawing on Thursday, December 18th, and I can get your book out in the mail on Friday, December 19th. 

After that you can expect regular blog posts each Wednesday morning. 

And the first issue of my bi-weekly Substack will go out on Sunday, December 28th. (And the next Substack will be in your inbox on Sunday, January 11th, 2026.)

Thank you, friends. Thank you for reading. Thank you for supporting my writing. Thank you for supporting me.