“The appointment was set for early morning so I could make it to my fourth grade classroom before the school bell. I took this as a good sign. No doctor would deliver heartbreaking news and then expect me to go teach a roomful of nine and ten-year olds. Whatever Dr. W had to tell me couldn’t be that bad. “That’s what I kept telling myself, because that’s what I needed to believe.”
The words above are taken from my personal essay, “The Big Reveal,” which I’m pleased to share has been published in COPE Magazine, Issue 4. The theme for Issue 4 is Diagnosis.
In its current form, “The Big Reveal” is the first essay in my memoir — I can’t believe I get to write this, but here it goes — which will be published in Spring 2028!!
The morning I received my diagnosis is one of those days that got filed into my memory, and not until many years later, was I more fully able to process what it meant then, and what it means now, to be diagnosed with an incurable chronic condition.
Screenshot - Image courtesy of COPE Magazine
I hope you’ll read my essay, and also take time to read the other published pieces and marvel at the artwork that together make up COPE Magazine, Issue 4. (You can access the issue online and/or order print copies.)
When our now-college-age son was growing up, we took full advantage of living in Los Angeles. Weekends and school vacations gave us the perfect opportunity to explore our city.
A good friend of mine called these family outings “field trips.” I took that as a compliment. I’m proud that our son had the chance to walk aboard Air Force One (at the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library and Museum) and get an up-close look at Space Shuttle Endeavour (at the California Science Center). Our son has observed timeless works of art by Diego Rivera (at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art), Vincent van Gogh (at the Getty Center), and Pablo Picasso (at the Norton Simon Museum). He has viewed the evolving look and size of GRAMMY awards at the GRAMMY Museum, touched certain shark and ray species at the Aquarium of the Pacific, and laughed at fossilized dinosaur poop — it’s called “Coprolite” — at the Natural History Museum.
This exposure was important to me. I wanted to give our son the opportunity to learn and discover in a variety of different fields because you never know what will capture a child’s interest. You never know how a certain interaction or hands-on activity will spark something for a child.
However, I also understand that sometimes Los Angeles may seem too big. Opportunities for experiences can seem overwhelming, as if there are too many choices.
The book is the newly-updated 2nd edition to MomsLA.com‘s first published book, which I wrote about back in August of 2022. (Click here to be taken to that post.)
The book includes seasonal activities and annual events, a list of activity ideas for toddlers and a list for teenagers, a list of museums, and a collection of “things to do” each based on neighborhood. (Because Los Angeles families know that living in Pasadena, for example, and deciding to visit the Heal the Bay Aquarium in Santa Monica, is not always the easiest commute.)
I’m proud to write for MomsLA.com (since 2013!), and I’m proud that some of that writing has found its way into this incredible resource and guidebook.
Friends, I hope you’ll check it out. And, even if you don’t live in Southern California, the holiday season will soon be upon us, and Los Angeles with Kids makes a thoughtful gift.
Please note: I am including a link to buy the book that I’m highlighting this week. If you use my link, I do make a small commission on your purchase at no additional cost to you. I am working with Bookshop.org which also sends a portion of the profit to support local, independent bookstores.
“A wife. A mistress. The friendship that saves them both. Fierce. Fun. Feminist.”
After reading The Exit Strategy, I can say those words accurately describe this story of female friendship. In fact the only “negative” thing I can say about Ms. Cameron’s novel is that it made me lose sleep. Meaning, there were several nights I had planned to read for just a few minutes, or just a few pages, and instead, I stayed awake and kept reading. I couldn’t help but become invested in Ryn’s and Carly’s story, their friendship, and the world of Silicon Valley (which I knew very little about).
Here are just some of the passages that stood out to me:
From the book’s dedication page: “To my mum Irene — Thanks for teaching me that women don’t need to fear their strength or minimize their voice, and can be badass resilient, smart, caring, and open-hearted — everything I needed to know in life.”
Loved this line: “The man spun out lies like a spider on speed.”
I liked Ryn’s fondness for Nutella: “After being shown to her adobe casita, she rummaged in her bag for the Nutella and settled with the jar and a spoon on her patio…” “She closed her eyes and sank into the smooth swirl. The velvety taste always took her back to sitting on the hay bales in the loft above the barn with Mom, savoring their latest contraband.”
“… wondering whether she’d ever deserve the true warmth of love. Not the fictitious kind filled with Todd’s false promises, or her parents’ type of love with the impossible expectation that she turn back time, but acceptance of a person as they are, complete with their history and flaws. Like the type of honest warmth she felt developing with Ryn over the last weeks.”
“Last night, Carly wished she could offer more than hugs when Ryn shared she felt as if she were stuck in quicksand and slowly sinking, just waiting for the final moment of suffocation to arrive.”
“Ryn pulled out a tiny wooden plaque with flowers painted on either end. In the middle a quote was printed across the wood in cursive. She ran her finger along it. It is better to have loved and lost than live with the psycho for the rest of your life.”
“I know it seems hopeless lately, and I’m sure seeing Todd didn’t help, but don’t lose faith. My Uncle Remy used to say two things: It’s never too late to become the person you want to see in the mirror, and you’re already as strong as you’ll need to be. I know it feels hard right now, but when it comes to strength, you have more than any other woman I know.”
“Her whole career she’d ensured every investment had an exit strategy: If a company didn’t go public as planned, then it could be acquired or merged, or its assets sold. But she didn’t have a backup plan for her own life.”
The Exit Strategy has won fifteen book awards and has been positively reviewed by hundreds of readers.
By the way – My copy of The Exit Strategy features the novel’s original cover. The cover has since been changed, but the story remains the same.
Please note: I am including a link to buy the book that I’m highlighting this week. If you use my link, I do make a small commission on your purchase at no additional cost to you. I am working with Bookshop.org which also sends a portion of the profit to support local, independent bookstores.
Most of the books I bought during the Indie Book Crawl. I purchased a few children's books I plan on donating to local free libraries. I also bought bookmarks. And in this photo you can see the sticker I earned after visiting 4 stores and the pin Iearned after visiting 10 stores.
Recently I did a few things I don’t normally do.
I skipped writing a to-do list for two days.
I left my home for many hours on two consecutive days.
I visited neighborhoods I don’t normally visit.
I spent money on purchases I don’t “need.” (Need can be subjective. Do I need these items the way I need air to breathe and water to drink? No. But, do I need these items the way I need a kiss from my husband, candles on the dining table, and flowers in my writing room? Yes.)
You may be wondering why I did these things.
Because one of my closest friends and I were on a mission.
We chose to participate in an adventure/challenge.
Maybe I should refer to it as a challenging adventure?
Or an adventurous challenge? Both seem applicable.
We chose to participate in the first ever Los Angeles Indie Book Crawl. Thirteen independent bookstores joined forces during this weekend-long event. (While the Book Crawl was a three day event – July 24th-26th, my friend and I did it in two days – Friday, July 24th and Saturday, July 25th.)
Now that I’ve had a few days to process the experience, here are some of my biggest takeaways:
1. Book people are friendly. My friend and I chatted with others “on the crawl.” We noticed familiar faces at different stores. We shared stories about our progress, the stores we had already visited, those we planned to visit next. Everyone seemed genuinely excited to be participating in this new event and sharing the experience with others.
2. Book people are generous. During our two days, I noticed participants chatting about book recommendations and offering suggestions about parking. I was super fortunate to be on the receiving end of another reader’s generosity on Day 2 of our adventure. We were at Chevalier’s Bookstore in Larchmont Village, waiting in line to see Gabrielle Zevin. I had planned to purchase a copy of Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow a book I haven’t yet read, that I would then ask Ms. Zevin to sign. Except the bookstore ran out of copies. I waited in line with my friend, who had brought from home her copy of Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow. The woman in line in front of us started chatting with us, and when she learned I wasn’t going to be able to have a book signed, she handed over a copy of the book she had planned to purchase. (She had her own hardcover copy with her and was happy to give me the paperback version.)
3. Authors are rock stars. My friend and I waited in line to see Taylor Jenkins Reid at Skylight Books in Los Feliz and Gabrielle Zevin at Chevalier’s Bookstore. There were long lines of readers waiting to get books signed. And, these authors didn’t just sign our books. They personalized them. They took a moment to chat. Ms. Zevin posed for photos with anyone who asked her. And as if all that wasn’t enough, let’s not forget that authors are Master Creators. The only tools they have are the same tools we all have — the twenty-six letters of our alphabet. And yet, it’s enough. It’s enough for them to create worlds and characters and circumstances that can transport us and offer new ways of thinking, understanding, and caring for our fellow humans.
4. Los Angeles is pretty incredible. Think about how many bookstores (both independent and big-chain) are located in and around L.A. (While this Lit Crawl focused on thirteen indie bookstores, there are many more independent bookstores in L.A. If you’re feeling inspired to visit one/a few/many of these bookstore, check out this post I wrote for MomsLA.com — “32 Awesome Independent Bookstores in Los Angeles.” Keep in mind, the post was updated a year ago, so be sure to check that all the information is still accurate before heading over to visit any of the stores on this list.)
5. I have bought a lot of books. And not just during these two days. I think it really started back in 2022, when I participated in the #22in22 challenge. (You can read about that initiative here.) Four years ago, I visited 22 bookstores and bought more than 22 books. Since then, my book-buying hasn’t stopped, even though the amount of time I spend reading does vary depending on what is going on in my life. But that’s okay. Because when it’s time for me to pick out a book to read, I have many options to choose from. So many options, in fact, that they don’t all fit on shelves. Or the plastic bin I use as additional storage. Or the tote bag I use for another source of additional storage. In fact, now I have piles on the floor adjacent to my bookshelves, my plastic bin, and my tote bag. When it’s time to select the next book I’m going to read, it’s almost as if I get to “shop” from my own mini-indie bookshop.
6. Sometimes you have to give yourself permission to stop doing certain things so you can start doing other things. The Book Crawl was a significant time commitment. Participating meant I wasn’t home to work on my posts for MomsLA or to tend to my garden, like I would have ordinarily. And it’s okay. It’s actually more-than-okay to change things up, to do things not because I’m trying to be productive and get important things done, but simply because I want to do these things. I want to have these particular experiences.
7. Pain is just a fact of life for me. So I knew standing in long lines, sitting in a car for an extended period of time, getting in and out of the car multiple times each day would all contribute to my overall levels of pain. Being ill for sixteen years has taught me that I can’t wait to feel better to do certain things. Feeling better isn’t a guarantee – ever. That means I have to weigh the possible negative side effects with the potential good. Sometimes what is good for my mental health may not be great for my physical health. That’s when “stubborn gladness” comes in. (You can click here to read my blog post from several years ago that explains this phrase and its relevance to my life.)
Another photo of my purchases. It's easier to see my new bookmarks in this picture.
Los Angeles-area friends, did any of you participate in the Indie Book Crawl? If you did, I’d love to know about your experience. What stood out for you?
If the Book Crawl becomes an annual event, do you think you’ll participate next year? (I know I want to!)
Be sure to check out my Instagram for more photos from my two, very bookish days!
1000 Words is a collection of short pieces, including “wisdom and inspiration from more than fifty beloved writers.”
The title of the book comes from Ms. Attenberg’s annual summer event in which writers commit to writing 1000 words a day for two consecutive weeks. There is a whole online community that not only participates but also encourages and supports each other.
Generally, I do not write 1000 words a day. (That’s about 4 typed, double-spaced pages.)
Once in a blue moon, the words flow and my body cooperates long enough for me to write four pages in one sitting.
But not usually.
And certainly not this summer, with my world no longer as I knew it since my dad passed away.
Still, writing inspiration never hurts. Especially now when I haven’t written much more than these weekly blog posts and my columns for MomsLA.com .
Here then are some of the passages that resonated with me:
“Four Truths: 1) We can’t finish what we don’t start. 2) The only way to the end is through. 3) It’s important to celebrate our accomplishments. 4) We must forgive ourselves for that which we have simply not done yet.”
“Your creative self is composed of your brain, your heart, and your time. To protect your creativity, you must tend to them all.”
“Respecting your creativity is respecting yourself.”
“So write the thing that you want to see in the world. You’re the only one who can.”
“There is only one you, your voice is singular, and if you do not write these 1000 words no one will ever know what you have to say. You absolutely must have faith in yourself, that what you need to talk about is important, and that a reader will care about it.”
“Above all, do not feel intimidated or discouraged. You have written before, and you will write again. You write because you love it and because it’s important to you and because you have something to say.”
“Write what you can, when you can. “Write when the urge strikes you, but also, be disciplined. Carve out time in your day to write. Fight for that time for yourself. You can find holes in your schedule. They exist. And soon enough you will fill them with words.”
“… making art of any kind is an act of optimism. To make art is to traffic in beliefs. The belief that you have something to say, that it’s important to say it. And also the belief that someone specific might want to witness it in some way and gain something from it.”
“Whatever it is you’re working on, whatever it is you’re dreaming about, whatever path you’re trying to carve out for yourself, whatever electricity you’re trying to generate, whatever voice you’re trying to draw out of yourself, whatever way you’re trying to connect with people, whatever you’re trying to communicate with the world, whatever fire you are trying to start this morning today this week forever and ever, you can fucking do it.”
Friends, have you read 1000 Words and/or have you participated in the 1000 Words Summer Challenge? I’d love to know.
Please note: I am including a link to buy the book that I’m highlighting this week. If you use my link, I do make a small commission on your purchase at no additional cost to you. I am working with Bookshop.org which also sends a portion of the profit to support local, independent bookstores.
Back in May, I had shared the good news that my personal essay, “On a Scale Of…” had won first place in the 2026 Streetlight Essay/Memoir Contest. (In case you missed it, you can read that blog post here.)
This week, friends, I’m pleased to share Streetlight’s 2026 Summer Issue is now available online. And, included in the Summer Issue is my award-winning essay.
Here’s an excerpt:
“I do not like that pain scale. I like it even less than I liked the 4, 3, 2, 1 grading scale. “I think most people living with chronic pain feel the same way I do and regard that chart as an incomplete and inaccurate way to describe pain. That scale does not take into account the pain tolerance many chronic illness patients naturally develop over time. I have lived with regular pain for over a decade. I’m certain that to an extent I have grown numb to some minor pains, and I have grown more tolerant of other pains. I have to, if I’m going to get out of bed and do anything during the day.”
You can click here to read my essay in its entirety.
Spoonie Friends, I’m curious. How do you handle the pain scale when you’re at one of your doctor’s appointments? Let me know in the comments.
A screenshot of my published essay on The Brevity Blog
“So what happens when you’re chronically ill and you can’t sit upright at a desk? Or you can’t always write at the same time every day? What happens when one day you can’t remember the name of the tool people use for eating and twirling spaghetti though you remember the scene in Disney’s Little Mermaid when Ariel used it to brush her hair? “What happens is we make our own ‘rules.’ (And maybe we don’t call them rules. How about — Suggestions? Techniques? Process? Routine?) We expand the definition of writing.”
The paragraphs above are an excerpt taken from my essay, “The Non-Rules for Writing When You Live with a Chronic Illness.” I’m pleased to share my essay has been published on The Brevity Blog. The essay has resonated with readers — you’ll see several comments on the post itself. I have also received DMs and an email from readers. And really, that’s all I could ever hope for — that something I wrote touched a reader and made a reader feel seen. (You can click here to read my essay in its entirety.)
One more thing:
Thank you, my dear friends. After last week’s post about the passing of my dad (you can read it here), so many of you reached out with comments, emails, DMs, and texts. Several of my close friends sent cards in the mail. Your kind words brought tears to my eyes and truly touched me.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for your support. Thank you for holding my family in your hearts. Thank you for being here with me. I am truly grateful.
One of my favorite photos of my dad. Look at the smile on his face as he held our son the night he was born.
My world has grown dimmer and less funny.
My dad passed away last week, on Friday, June 26th.
Throughout his hospital stay, my dad continued being himself. When asked by a doctor how he was feeling, my dad — who was hooked up to all sorts of monitors and had IVs in his arms — said, “I’ve been better.”
Another time he complained about his lunch not being what he ordered. “I asked for tuna on white. This is wheat.”
Days later, he would receive a tuna sandwich on white bread, eating only half of it. On another day, I held the small cola can while my dad took baby sips from the straw, and we joked that finally he was allowed to have soda on a daily basis. And at another lunchtime, I fed him diced peaches.
A friend of mine has told me my dad was such a brave man. He was very clear on what he wanted and what he didn’t. He wanted to die with dignity, on his terms, and we did everything we could to make sure that happened.
This blog post has taken me quite a while to write. I keep crying, thinking of my dad in that hospital bed. Thinking of the empty recliner in my parents’ home. Thinking I will never again buy him a Father’s Day card. (This year he opened his Father’s Day card in the hospital.)
My dad had a hard start to life. Things could have gone really differently for him.
Instead he met my mom, and it’s a story he loved to tell: “Do you know what the first word your mother ever said to me was? She told me ‘no.’”
They had me, and on their first wedding anniversary, they brought me home from the hospital. “That year, I got out of taking your mom out to dinner,” he joked each year on their wedding anniversary.
The passing of my dad has left our family with a list of No’s.
No more dirty jokes. (Here’s one he loved telling: “Want to hear a dirty joke? A white horse fell in the mud.”)
No more mischievousness. (When our son was a little guy, my dad loved teaching him “poems,” including “Beans beans the magical fruit, the more you eat the more you toot…”)
No more out-of-the-blue hearts texted to my phone.
No more hearing my dad say, “Hey Suri” instead of “Hey Siri.”
Ten years ago, to celebrate my dad’s 70th birthday, I wrote him a special blog post — “10 Reasons Why I Love My Daddy.” You can click hereto read that post, and see some family photos.
“… there will always be one life event or another that can distract you. Be prepared for this. I don’t live in fear of this but merely accept it as the truth. No one lives an entire life without a crisis at some point or another. And this may distract you from your daily practice.”
I am not yet ready to share about my crisis.
But for the time being, there will be no blog posts, Substack posts, or Instagram posts.
I love discovering a children’s book that I know would have been a part of my kindergarten classroom library or would have found a spot on my son’s bookcase.
“Jade doesn’t enjoy dance, basketball, singing or drawing; what she really loves is anything and everything to do with cars.”
Jade’s parents are mechanics who own their mechanic shop. Jade spends summers at her parents’ shop, and observes both mom and dad actively working on cars. (In fact, the book’s illustrations show Mom changing a car’s tire.)
However, Jade’s love of cars is tested when she shares with her first-grade class her dream to grow up to become a mechanic. “‘That’s not a job for girls!’ they say.”
After being teased at school, Jade throws away all her toy cars and tells her dad, “I threw them away because girls are not supposed to play with cars.”
Jade’s dad replies: “The cars cannot see if you are a boy or a girl. They can feel your passion and your love as you work on them. You can do anything you set your mind to, including working on cars. Being a girl should not stop you, just look at your mom.”
So She Did is a sweet book, perfect for a young reader. Moreover, this is a book that can start conversations and serve as a way to broaden views about outdated, stereotypical gender roles. After all, representation matters. Children absolutely need to see themselves (including their future selves) depicted on the page (and on the screen).
Please note: I do know the author, Dr. Aleen Kojayan. In fact, Dr. K signed this copy of her book, which I will be donating to a little free library in our neighborhood.
WendyKennar.com 