Love and Pop Songs

My husband and I have shared a lot in our almost twenty-six years of marriage. 

Music has always been a part of our life together — whether in the car, or in the kitchen, or in the form of a family “Thriller” dance in our living room. We’ve seen Sade at the Hollywood Bowl and Prince at the arena formerly known as the Staples Center.

But we’ve never had just one song that was ours

Though, there is one song that served as writing inspiration.

Back in 2016, my personal essay, “A Blue Jeans Type of Marriage,” was published in the anthology, Everything I Need to Know About Love I Learned From Pop Songs.

The title of my essay was inspired by Neil Diamond’s “Forever in Blue Jeans.”

My husband and I have never been super fancy people; mainly because for years, we couldn’t afford to be super fancy. Like we tell our son, the “what” you eat or the “where” you eat should never matter as much as the “who” you are eating with.

And with Valentine’s Day just a few days away, it felt like the perfect time to highlight this charming little book. (It’s a short book, just under 60 pages.)

Wishing you all a sweet Valentine’s Day! 

Please note: I am including a link to buy the book that I’m highlighting this week. If you use my link, I do make a small commission on your purchase at no additional cost to you. I am working with Bookshop.org which also sends a portion of the profit to support local, independent bookstores.

Happy Valentine’s Day

I don’t remember how I celebrated Valentine’s Day when I was an elementary school student. 

But I do remember how I celebrated as an elementary school teacher.

A few weeks before Valentine’s Day, I sent a note home which included a class list. If children wanted to pass out Valentine cards, they were asked to bring one for each classmate. (This was not just a Mrs. Kennar-rule. Other teachers did the same thing.)

When I taught fourth grade, I added an in-class activity. Each student was given two stapled papers. The papers had lines on them and some decorative hearts in the corners. Each student was instructed to write their name at the top of the page. 

The whole class stood up and left their papers on their desks. Everyone moved one seat down and wrote something complimentary on their seat mate’s paper. There were a few rules: no compliments or praise based on looks, including things you wear or levels of attractiveness. 

Before we began, we did brainstorm some possible compliments and words of praise we could use for each other. Such as:

You always share your eraser with me.

You have neat handwriting.

When you read aloud, I can always hear you even though I don’t sit near you.

You always remember to say thank you when I pass out papers.

We spent quite a bit of class time, making sure we wrote on each student’s paper. And, my students would encourage me to have a paper as well. When the activity was done, we returned to our seats and took time to quietly read the words of praise our classmates had written. 

It was one of my favorite activities, because I think too often we don’t know how we have impacted someone else. We don’t always take the time to share a kind word. But with this activity, my students would have these written words to take with them, and they  could look back at them any time they needed a boost.

So along those lines, I am going to take this opportunity to show a bit of self-love. I am always quick to praise and compliment and offer kind words to others. It’s much harder to do the same for myself. 

In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, a day of friendship and love, here are two compliments I give myself:

– I am considerate. I offer cold bottles of water to any service technicians or repair people who come to our home. Any time I see our mailman, John, I thank him for the day’s mail and give him a cold bottle of water as well.

– I am thoughtful. I make notes of friends’ doctors appointments and important life events so that I can reach out with a text, an email, or a phone call and let my friends know I’m thinking of them.

Happy Valentine’s Day, my dear readers! Feel free to share a compliment or words of praise about yourself.

Life, Love, and Pop Songs

During some of my high school and college years, I worked in a flower shop.  Those years gave me a whole new way of looking at Valentine’s Day, or in shop lingo, “V. Day.”

V. Day meant at least twelve-hour shifts at minimum wage (at that time, $4.25/hour), tired feet, swollen fingers that were cut by thorns.  Valentine’s Day meant standing at the counter creating one arrangement after the other of one dozen long-stem red roses in a vase. 

Later on, after I left the flower shop, Valentine’s Day again became a day I could look forward to.  (Though from the beginning of our relationship, I asked my husband never to buy me red roses for Valentine’s Day).

Valentine’s Day is the day of love.  But, where do we learn about love?  From our parents?  The movies?  Books?  Our friends?  Probably a mix of all of those.

But also from music.  My husband and I don’t have one song that we consider “ours.”  We have multiple songs that each have a special meaning for us. 

A few years ago, one of my personal essays, “A Blue-Jeans Type of Marriage,” was included in a special anthology.  (The title for my essay was inspired by Neil Diamond’s “Forever in Blue Jeans.”)  Everything I Need to Know About Love I Learned From Pop Songs, edited by Laura Roberts, includes a variety of stories that, as said in the book’s introduction, are “all about love.  Love hard won, love lost, love unrequited, love that lasts, and love that’s just a fading dream.”

And now readers, it’s your turn.  Feel free to share any favorite love songs in the comments section.  

Wishing you all a Valentine’s Day filled with sweetness, feel-good tunes, and smiles!

 

Loving Day, Every Day

A few years ago, I wrote a personal essay for MomsLA about Loving Day.  You can read it by clicking here.

A few days ago, my husband and I finally watched the 2016, Oscar-nominated film Loving.  The movie is based on the real life story of Richard and Mildred Loving whose own interracial marriage and legal battles ultimately made it possible for my husband and I to marry.

And on this day, Valentine’s Day, I’m thinking of Mr. and Mrs. Loving with gratitude.