The Taste of Anger

There are some books that stay with you, long after you finish reading. Books that take up residence in your heart and mind. Books that make you feel, deeply, as if you have been an active participant in the story told on the pages. Books that are so rich with sensory details and vivid images, you did more than read the words; you saw the scenes play out in your mind.

The Taste of Anger: A Memoir by Diane Vonglis Parnell is one such book.

I must be honest. Diane is a friend of mine. We met several years ago at a writer’s retreat. We were classmates in a UCLA Extension Writers’ Program class taught by the late, lovely, Barbara Abercrombie. And after the class ended, Diane and I remained in touch for quite some time, emailing pages to each other, reading the other’s work and offering incredibly valuable insights and feedback and support. 

And now, the hard work, the years of writing and re-writing have culminated in the publication of Diane’s powerful memoir, The Taste of Anger

I must warn you, Diane’s book is not easy to read because of its subject matter — her incredibly abusive childhood. At the same time, Diane’s book is an important read, because it serves as a strong reminder — you never know what someone is dealing with simply by looking at them. You cannot always easily see the scars and pain someone deals with on a regular basis, which is something her book and my future book have in common.

Diane’s memoir is written from the point of view of her childhood self. We see the family, the school, the farm from young Diane’s point of view. And young Diane is observant, vigilant, and on high alert.

I am choosing not to share any passages that depict violence and abuse, because I understand how difficult and painful reading such passages may be for some. Instead, I am sharing a few passages that highlight the masterful descriptions and the sensory details that Diane uses throughout her memoir.

“In the kitchen, she rolls my hair in small silver curlers. They pinch so tight against my scalp that when I lay my head on my pillow, it feels as though I have stones tied all around my head.
“The entire family is up before the sun the next morning, getting ready for 6:30 mass. I ask Kathy to take my curlers out because she is gentler than Mom, unrolling them slowly so they don’t tear my hair out. When she’s done, I shake my head side to side, enjoying the tickle of the curls bouncing lightly against my face.”

“I watch a fly circle and get caught in a spider web in the corner. The fly struggles, making a loud bzzz bzzz bzzz, like an SOS signal, as the spider races across the web, pounces on it, and then rolls it in silk, placing it at the edge of the web next to another cocooned victim. I feel like that fly. If I go bzzz bzzz bzzz, will anyone hear the alarm? Will anyone come to save me?”

“Willy is a farmer from the next town over, jolly in a Santa kind of way, with the stub of a cigar always stuffed between the gap in his gray front teeth. His face is white-whiskered, his glasses held together at the bridge by black tape. He pulls his large body out from behind the steering wheel, steadying himself with a wooden cane. A hairy pink belly hangs visible beneath a tattered, ill-fitted T-shirt.”

“Mrs. Walters brings her chair from behind the desk, and we gather on the floor around her for Reading Time. It is my absolute favorite part of the day, and I sit right next to her, soaking in every word. She reads stories of tiny fairies and giants, a cat with big boots. Today we hear about a talking bear that gets lost in a train station. She turns the book around to show us illustrations of a chubby bear in a floppy hat. These vivid stories open doors to new worlds — happy worlds, magical words — and I fall earnestly into every one of them. Only during Reading Time do I truly forget about my life at home. I fight the urge to wrap my arm around my teacher’s leg, to lean my head against her knee. If she’d let me do that, and if she kept reading, I think I could close my eyes and stay right here for the rest of my life.”

“I am afraid of her, but I also like her orderliness, her clear rules, and the high expectations she sets for each of her new fourth-grade students. She scrutinizes our handwriting and then makes a special ceremony of passing out pens to the students she deems have graduated from the pencil. I am one of the first to get my very own blue pen, and when she calls my name, I blush and beam as I make my way to the front of the classroom where she holds it out to me. A gift to acknowledge my hard work. 
We have spelling bees and write essays. Sister Joan challenges us to think and to express our thoughts, and through her guidance, I am beginning to see that the world is much bigger than just me and my life on the farm. Best of all she reads to us every day, further fueling my love for the subject.”

“At home after supper, I bring my uniform downstairs to show my mother. She purses her lips, holding the jumper out in front of her, scrutinizing the hole. I want to scream at her for letting it get this bad, but we have been conditioned not to speak our thoughts or express our feelings at home, so mine are always clanging around inside of me like a handful of nails tossed in a dryer and set to tumble.”

One last note: I am so honored that Diane included me in the list of friends and supporters she mentions in her Acknowledgements. Thank you, Diane! I am so proud of you!

Please note: I am including a link to buy the book that I’m highlighting this week. If you use my link, I do make a small commission on your purchase at no additional cost to you. I am working with Bookshop.org which also sends a portion of the profit to support local, independent bookstores.

6 thoughts on “The Taste of Anger

  1. Hi Wendy,

    Wow! Thank you for highlighting my memoir in your blog this week. I appreciate all of your support throughout this process! Yes, mine is a difficult story but I feel that we need to talk aloud about difficult topics in order to figure out how to solve them. Thanks again. Diane

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    • Oh Diane, I feel so lucky to have witnessed some of the steps that brought you to the publication of your memoir. And you’re absolutely right – we need to have the hard conversations, we need to admit there is darkness and abuse and violence, sometimes right under our noses. We need to shine a light on it all and bring it front and center so we can start to create solutions for them. Thank you for your bravery in sharing your story. Thank you for allowing us in.

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  2. What an inspiring post, Wendy, so happy for you & your friend Diane. Genuine friendship shared with others is a priceless gift/experience. Have a terrific Thursday & Happy Friday too.

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