“Mother, wife, daughter, friend. My most important roles. My most meaningful roles. And fifteen years ago, I added ‘spoonie’ to the list when I removed ‘teacher.’ It is a role I didn’t choose, a role I still don’t want, but one that is with me always, lurking like a shadow. Sometimes the spoonie version of me feels larger than all the other parts of my identity, overriding all other aspects of my life, screaming for attention, and unwilling to settle into the background. Sometimes the spoonie me is behind me or next to me, living alongside all my other roles, allowing me to live my life alongside my chronic illness. Rarely the spoonie shadow is not visible at all, and I am gifted precious reminders of the me that used to be — pain-free, illness-free, and free to do what I want, secure in the knowledge that my body would behave as I expected it to.”

The paragraph above is an excerpt from my recently published personal essay, “Attempting to Soar as a Spoonie.”

I’m pleased to share my essay was selected for publication in Issue 17 of Please See Me. The Issue’s theme is “Free,” and the prompts included:

– What does it mean to you to be truly Free – to live your best life no matter your health, life, or caregiving challenges? 

– What does it look like for you when you do not feel free?

The prompts allowed me to write an entirely new piece and include images and feelings I don’t think I’ve shared anywhere else in quite this way. I hope you’ll read it (by clicking here), and while you’re on the website, be sure to check out the other published pieces, including fiction, nonfiction, and poetry.