I Don’t Know What You Know Me From

Posted on by Wendy Kennar

The book is called, I Don’t Know Where You Know Me From: My Life as a Co-Star. But I know exactly where I know Judy Greer from. The Wedding Planner. 27 Dresses. 13 Going on 30. What Women Want. 

Obviously you know I’m not an actress and I have no immediate connection to the world of movies. So why did I pick up this memoir?

Many reasons:

1 – Because I browsed in a local independent bookshop and since the #22in22 challenge, I don’t visit an indie bookshop without buying something. 

2- It’s signed by the author.

3 – I did like Judy Greer’s characters in the movies I listed above.

4-  I’m a memoir-writer and am curious about other memoirs. How do authors structure their books? (In this case, the book is organized into three sections: Part 1 – Early Life; Part 2 – Hollywood Life, Part 3 – Real Life.)

5 –  As someone who has had difficulty in deciding where my memoir ends, I’m always interested in reading how someone made the “where-to-end-the-book decision. (Lliving with an invisible disability doesn’t have a clear-cut ending point. It’s not like I start and then finish treatment as is often the case with other illness stories.)

6 –  I’m curious about other people. I truly believe everyone has a story.

The memoir is a fast and fun read. And surprisingly, quite relatable. Which is actually reason number 7 why I purchased this memoir — Human beings are so much more alike than we often think we are. I have never peed in a stall next to a star. (At least, I don’t think I have. In Part 2, there is actually a chapter called, “Celebrities I’ve Peed Next To.”) Yet, I did find myself nodding, smiling, laughing because a lot of what Ms. Greer writes about is quite relatable. 

“And I am the John Hughes generation. I was waiting for my Blane, my Jake Ryan, and I am not a saint, I’m sorry, but I was a little jealous when Nicole got to go to a dance while I stayed home, wrote in my diary, and watched my VHS tape of Pretty in Pink again.” 

Pretty much all of Ms. Greer’s second chapter, “I Used to Be More Ugly,” resonated with me. In fact, there is one photo that reminds me of a Halloween costume I wore many years ago, when I was trying to dress like Madonna and Cyndi Lauper. 

“My mom told me when I was little that I needed to toughen up, but I didn’t think I would have to rely on that advice as an adult. Shouldn’t I be tough by now? I want to be beef jerky, not whipped cream.”

“… it made me nostalgic for those times, when we were all on a more even playing field. I want to go back to simpler times, when people were famous for their specific talent, when actresses looked more natural, when their faces moved, when I knew the names of the people in the magazines.”
Ms. Greer goes on: “I guess I just miss the times when people could just look how they looked and it was personality, talent, and charisma that mattered most, not who wore it best, …” 

Also highly recommend the chapter, “Ashton Kutcher Gave My Dad a Harley.” It will renew your faith that there are good people out in the world and that wonderful surprises can, and do, happen. As Ms. Greer writes, “Sometimes for no reason at all, someone does something unbelievable, unselfish, and generous.”

I enjoyed reading about Ms. Greer’s idea for a perfume named, “‘Intolerance, for the woman who just can’t take it anymore.’ It’s inspired by bad drivers, people who don’t use their left-hand turn signal, people who don’t use their right-hand turn signal, tardy friends, line cutters, slow (or worse, chatty) checkout clerks, music playing while on hold, faulty DVRs, airplane seat kickers, airplane seat headrest grabbers, loud cell-phone talkers, text-and-walkers, people who don’t silence their phone in the theater, and L.A. traffic.” 

Also highly recommend the “Drugstore Therapy” chapter. “I’ve yet to have a problem so huge that a midnight trip to a twenty-four-hour drugstore couldn’t give me at least a few moments of calm and clarity.” She goes on, “… but there is something about a late-night drugstore run that promises change, and in these moments, all I really want is change. I want to not have the problem I am having.” 

“Sometimes I do wish I could just have the same job every day; it seems comforting to me — to work with the same people all the time, know your salary every year, know when you can take a vacation and plan it. I think I could get used to that. A little stability would be so different, and I find myself daydreaming about it, especially now that I’m married and have stepkids.”

I also recommend Ms. Greer’s Manifesto. “There’s a lot of peaks and valleys in the life I’ve chosen, but my mission statement reminds me to focus on what matters most. When life is awesome, it keeps my head from getting too big, and when things are shitty, it reminds me that my life is still pretty awesome.”

Friends, have you read Ms. Greer’s memoir? What movie have you seen that included Judy Greer in its cast? Let me know in the comments.  

Also, I announced this on Instagram but allow me to share it here: my friend, author Nicole Annbury, recently published her second novel, The Signature Line. If you subscribe to my Substack, you will be entered into a drawing to win a signed copy of The Signature Line. The drawing will take place on Friday, February 20th. So be sure to subscribe!


Please note: I am including a link to buy the book that I’m highlighting this week. If you use my link, I do make a small commission on your purchase at no additional cost to you. I am working with Bookshop.org which also sends a portion of the profit to support local, independent bookstores.

A Bit of Book Love

Posted on by Wendy Kennar

Since Valentine’s Day is only a few days away, I thought I would use this week’s blog post to share books in my collection that contain the word “Love” somewhere in the title.

I believe the world desperately needs more love. So, with that, I present to you this week’s blog post — a sort of Bookish Valentine to readers and writers. 

This photo features:

P.S. I Love You by Cecelia Ahern

Twenty-One Truths About Love by Matthew Dicks

Love & Saffron by Kim Fay

Somehow: Thoughts on Love by Anne Lamott

Unorthodox Love by Heidi Shertok

Book Lovers by Emily Henry

A Brush with Love by Mazey Eddings

Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

Must Love Dogs by Claire Cook

The Love Simulation by Etta Easton

The Love Haters by Katherine Center

Friends, which books would you add to this list? Within your own collection, do you have any books that have the word “Love” in the title? Feel free to list them in the comments.

Wishing you a day of love and friendship and enjoyable reading time — on Valentine’s Day and every day!

Please note: I am including a link to buy the books that I’m highlighting this week. If you use my link, I do make a small commission on your purchase at no additional cost to you. I am working with Bookshop.org which also sends a portion of the profit to support local, independent bookstores.


It’s Hard Work

Posted on by Wendy Kennar
Each afternoon, I park the car near my son's high school and go for a walk in the neighborhood, before the dismissal bell rings. I usually walk for about ten minutes.

Last week was a “hard” week. 

I added quotation marks because I’m not certain that hard is the most accurate word to use to describe last week’s experiences. 

Let me tell you about it:

On Monday, I went in for my three-month follow-up with my rheumatologist. These appointments are rather brief, mainly because my doctor feels like things are “under control.” My current medication is “working” in that my inflammation levels have stayed more-or-less steady for the last year or two. (Again, the quotation marks because working doesn’t exactly represent my daily experiences.) From the doctor’s perspective, everything is going well. 

But it’s not.

Before he hurried out my exam room and into the room next door, I told Dr. P that I understand my labs look good in his eyes. But, I told him, I feel awful. Every. Single. Day. “So even though it looks like I’m doing great, I’m not,” I told him. 

He nodded. He told me all he can do is go by the numbers.    

On Tuesday, I had an appointment with my physical therapist, C. I haven’t been to physical therapy in over a month, because C had been on vacation for a while. However, I have been consistently doing my PT homework — daily walk(s), using my pedal machine twice a day, and working through my stretches/exercises every other day. 

C and I chatted while I used the armless-elliptical machine. He asked about my walking — the distance covered, the amount of time it takes. And I told him that my son told me it looks like I’m limping more than I ever have before. We talked about my treatment plan for the next few months. 

Because the reality is I am not an “easy” patient. (Again, easy may not be the right word.)

Doctors, in my experience, tend to focus on the labels — the diagnosis, the medication, the numbers. So my rheumatologist reviews labs and on his end, things are going well. Yet, each time I see him, I try to explain just how hard things have gotten. He knows I own a wheelchair. He knows how hard grocery shopping has become. He knows I wake up, every morning, already in pain. 

Likewise, as great as C is — I have worked with several physical therapists over the years and have never worked with anyone like C before! — I’m not the type of patient he is used to working with. I don’t have an injury that twelve weeks of physical therapy will help heal, for example. I don’t always experience pain in the same spot or in the same way. Some days are better than others. And perhaps most “challenging” is the reality —I will not get better.

Over the years, I have observed doctors and physical therapists become “frustrated” with me — through no fault of my own. The fact is I don’t have an easy-to-understand or easy-to-treat diagnosis. I don’t have a chronic illness that has a well-established prognosis. 

I get it. But that’s all out of my control. 

The goal, as I have told both Dr. P and C, is to work on strengthening my left leg and to maintain that strength as much as I can. Because ultimately I am trying to remain as mobile and independent as I can, for as long as I can.

It isn’t easy. 

But I’m working hard at it.

The Love Haters

Posted on by Wendy Kennar

I am a Katherine Center fan.

(In case you missed any of them, I’m including links to the posts I have written, featuring some of her other novels including The Rom-Commers, Hello Stranger, The Bodyguard, and What You Wish For.)

I have heard Katherine Center describe her own books as somewhat of a crossover of genres — women’s fiction and a rom-com. Readers will absolutely get their HEA (happily ever after) at the end of the story. But until we get there, readers will spend about 300 pages with characters that seem like real people. Characters we root for. Characters that are relatable. Characters that face challenges, that may get knocked down, but will always get back up.

(Side note – I’m not a fan of the “women’s fiction” label. I don’t remember hearing or seeing anything called “men’s fiction.”)

I finished reading Katherine Center’s 2025 novel, The Love Haters, and I loved it. Let me put it this way — I finished reading, and thought about starting the book all over again. (I didn’t.) But it’s like when you hear a favorite song, and once it stops, you just want to play it again. That’s how good this book was.

The book is so pretty!

Here are some of my favorite passages, some of the passages that made me pause and take note:

“She paged through to the right spot and started rereading: ‘The main strategy is just to notice what your partner is getting right.’ She peered at me, thinking. ‘Maybe you can just work on noticing what your body is getting right. Things you like about it. You do have some of those, right?’
“Things I liked about my body? What an odd thought.” 

“‘Don’t be one of those women who insists on thinking she’s ugly,’ she said.
“‘I don’t think I’m ugly,’ I stated. Then, much quieter and possibly hoping not even to be heard, I followed that with: ‘But other people might?’
“Beanie was incredulous. ‘What?!’
“I wasn’t passing her feminist muster.”
(This conversation between our main character, Katie, and her cousin and best friend, Beanie, goes on for a few pages. Honestly, their whole conversation was so very relatable, but you really just have to read it yourself. It starts on page 47.)

“If I’m really honest … if I truly think about it… I think it was just the idea that he — or, honestly, anybody — might see me the way my stepmother had. That he might encounter me out in the open, so exposed, with so little left to the imagination… and find me…unappealing. 
“Or any of a whole tasting plate of other words starting with un: Unattractive. Uninviting. Unsalvageable. Unpleasant. Unacceptable. Unloveable.
“This was it. This was the phobia.
“Being exposed, in plain daylight, with nowhere to hide — and then being … rejected. By anyone. Even a stranger.”

“The helicopters really were shiny — and so much bigger than when you see them motoring across the sky in the distance. The hangar really was spotlessly clean. And the rotors really were enormous — almost prehistoric in scale. I felt an actual, honest-to-god feeling of awe as I beheld them in that hangar.
“It was unexpectedly moving.
“It felt like a shrine to all the best parts of humanity.” 

“‘No one’s born fearless,’ Rue said. ‘You have to earn it.’ Then she added, gesturing at the swimsuit dangling from my hand, ‘Every time you have to be brave, you get to be a little braver next time. That’s what life is for.’
“‘I don’t think I want to be brave,’ I said.
“‘I know.’ Her face was all sympathy. ‘That’s why you keep hiding.’
“What can I say? She had me.
“‘But I’ll tell you a secret,’ she said. ‘It doesn’t matter what anybody thinks if you’re having fun. And all the fun is in color.’
“I tried that idea on for size.
“‘My wish for you,’ Rue went on, ‘is a vibrant, bright, glorious life. That’s why I keep bringing you these vibrant, bright, glorious swimsuits.’” 

“And then she would insist, very gently, that I wasn’t stuck inside of my body. It wasn’t some prison my soul was caged in. The two things were — and only ever had been — one thing. I was it, and it was me. We were the same.
“It was a simple truth: I couldn’t abandon myself.
“And as much as that was a curse, it was also a blessing.” 

“He paused, just inches away now, and took in the sight of me. ‘It’s just a fact. It’s just reality. You’re just … You’re like a human hot-fudge sundae or something.’” 


“I just suddenly understood in a whole new, sun-breaking-through-the-clouds way that even if we do eternally need and long and want to be seen … maybe the most important eyes doing the looking are our own.”

“‘You’re not not forgettable,’ Hutch said then, like I was being obtuse. ‘You’re unforgettable.’
“I held my breath at that.
“Hutch went on. ‘You’re a TV jingle you never wanted to learn, but can’t erase. You’re a puzzle that can’t be solved — or a question that can’t be answered — or a dream you wake up from that feels like it really happened. But it didn’t happen. And it can’t happen. Because that’s not how dreams work.’” 

“But that didn’t change the fact that I was in love with him.
“The way I was missing him. The way I couldn’t stop longing for him. The way my thoughts, and my heart, and my entire body were completely capsized by everything that had just happened … there was no other explanation. Based on misery alone, it just had to be love.”

“We’re here to be alive. To keep going. To find all kinds of ways to thrive anyway. We’re here to feel it all. To love and cry and love some more.
“We’re here to rescue ourselves — and everybody else — in every way that we can.”

And from the Author’s Note at the end of the book:

“What I’m saying is, we can train our own eyes to look with kindness, and pay attention to what’s beautiful, and focus on what’s right instead of what’s wrong.
“That’s how you fall in love — and stay in love — with anyone, including yourself: see the best in that person and enjoy the hell out of it as often as you can.” 

Friends, have you read The Love Haters? Or, any of Katherine Center’s novels? By the way, her 2026 novel, The Shippers, sounds completely delightful and will be published in May.

Please note: I am including a link to buy the book that I’m highlighting this week. If you use my link, I do make a small commission on your purchase at no additional cost to you. I am working with Bookshop.org which also sends a portion of the profit to support local, independent bookstores.

Sharing

Posted on by Wendy Kennar
Many people live with invisible illness(es). Many people look "fine" on the outside.

Last week, an acquaintance asked me about my chronic illness. We had recently started following each other on Instagram, and a few days after she started liking my posts, we bumped into each other in person. 

(Side note – You do follow me on Instagram. Right? I hope you do!
@wendykennar
You follow me, and then I will follow you back. Let’s support each other!)

Back to last week. 

J told me she had seen some of my posts. 

“You talk about pain, but what is it? What do you have?” she asked.

“It’s an autoimmune disease,” I began.

“Which one?” she asked. 

So I told J about my UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease). I told her some days, and some parts of days, are much worse than others. I told her it was difficult to diagnose. 

“And that makes it hard to treat,” she said.

I looked at her. “Exactly,” I said.

“My sister has chronic fatigue syndrome,” J told me. 

“Oh my goodness, that’s awful,” I said. And it is. (If you don’t know about CFS, you can click here to read an article from the Mayo Clinic.)

“When my sister is in a flare, she says her bones hurt,” J said.

“But I would have never known you had anything. I couldn’t tell,” she said.

“That’s the way it works, right? I’m sure it’s the same for your sister,” I said. “I’m sure most of the time no one would suspect she lives with a condition that sometimes makes it impossible to leave her bed.”

J seemed surprised when I told her I own a wheelchair and use it from time to time. She seemed shocked when I told her I first became ill when my now-almost-eighteen-year-old son was two years old. But how would she have known? I don’t just go up to people and start talking about my autoimmune disease. And as those of you living with invisible illnesses know too well, spoonies have a lot of practice looking “fine,” as we’re out in the world, doing our best to go about our days and live our lives the best we can. 

Now here’s the part I’m most proud of, I didn’t end the conversation there. Friends, I then did something I don’t ordinarily do. I shared something else, something super important to me.

“I’m actually writing a book about living with an invisible illness,” I told J.

J nodded. “To explain about your experience?” 

“Yes, and more than that, to help others see that you can’t always tell what someone is going through simply by looking at them. Being sick has taught me that everyone is dealing with something. Everyone lives with some sort of pain.”

It might not seem like a lot, but for me, that was a big step. I’m not great at self-promotion, of talking about myself, my writing, and my writing goals. But I’m trying to improve on that and get more comfortable talking and sharing about my writing. After all, my writing is a huge part of who I am and what I do. And the truth is I don’t just want to write. And I don’t just want to be published. I also, most definitely, want to be read.

How about you, friends? Do you find it difficult to talk with others about your creative work? How do you go about sharing your writing (or whatever it is that you create)?

The Eight Heartbreaks of Hanukkah

Posted on by Wendy Kennar

The last novel I read in 2025 was The Eight Heartbreaks of Hanukkah by Jean Meltzer. If you have been reading my blog for a while, you may remember I have written about each of Jean Meltzer’s four previous novels. (Click here to read my post about Ms. Meltzer’s fourth novel, Magical Meet Cute. That post includes links to my posts on each of Ms. Meltzer’s other novels.)

The Eight Heartbreaks of Hanukkah definitely has A Christmas Carol-feeling to it. And, it’s a rom-com. But, it’s so much more. 

Ms. Meltzer has a wonderful way of writing fun-to-read novels that also include serious, heavy topics. In fact, the letter to the reader at the beginning of the book acts as a gentle warning:

“This book contains depictions of chronic illness and disability, including migraines, as well as discussions on divorce, grief, infertility, pregnancy loss, termination for medical reasons, abortion, and fetal anomalies.”

I applaud Ms. Meltzer and the mindful way she goes about making sure her books offer diverse representation. Our main character, Evelyn Schwartz, is a Jewish woman who lives with chronic migraines. And, Evelyn’s sister-in-law (her husband’s sister) lives with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS). Near the end of the letter to the reader, she wrote: “I always say that there is no greater honor as an author than being a voice for the voiceless.”

This week I’m sharing some of my favorite passages from The Eight Heartbreaks of Hanukkah:

“‘But that’s the funny thing about mistakes, right?’ she asked him directly. ‘Without them, we don’t grow. So you have to grow through it. All the good. All the bad. The blunder years. The heartbreaks. Because otherwise, how do you learn, how you do you change, how do you find the people and things worth your time … or not?’”

“And he was so patient. He didn’t tell her that she was being hysterical. He didn’t ask her to bottle it up so they could get back to the wedding ceremony and all the guests that were waiting. He let her cry. Somehow, he found a way to be both her rock and her security blanket, until finally, she found the wherewithal to go back inside.” 

“He reached over and took her hand. Grief was such a powerful force. It twisted your mind, filled you with sorrow. It made you desperate to believe that your memories could be turned back into reality. But there couldn’t be grief without love.” 

“He raised one eyebrow at his sister. ‘How did you get so wise?’
“She smirked. ‘Lifelong disability and pain, and because every cloud has a silver lining. My silver lining is you, being your big sister. Bossing you around, telling you what to do, sharing my knowledge as an elder. It’s hard to be this wise and beautiful.’”

“‘And maybe that’s my takeaway for this Hanukkah. For this entire experience. The world is filled with heartbreaks. We lose the people we love, we make mistakes, we hurt each other… sometimes we even do unforgivable things. But despite all the pain and grief of life, there can still be miracles. Magic can happen. Ghosts can show up, enemies can make amends —‘
“‘And two people who have fallen apart can fall in love again.’” 

“They returned to kissing. Their hands tore at each other, hungry and passionate, as they made their way to the bedroom. And it felt right. He felt right. Like past, present and future merging together — there was hope beyond the grand finale.
“For love, it turned out, was the greatest miracle of all.”

And from the author’s note at the back of the book: “I wrote this story because I have always written books where things that are not seen are made visible.”

Please note: I am including a link to buy the book that I’m highlighting this week. If you use my link, I do make a small commission on your purchase at no additional cost to you. I am working with Bookshop.org which also sends a portion of the profit to support local, independent bookstores.


My Year in Books

Posted on by Wendy Kennar

I didn’t achieve my Goodreads Reading Challenge for 2025. 

Actually, I didn’t achieve my Goodreads Reading Challenge for 2024, either. When I realized how far off the mark I was (in terms of the number of books I had hoped to read and the number of books I actually read), I lowered my goal for 2025. Lowered it a lot. 

The goal for 2025 was to read 24 books. And I missed it by 3 books.

I admit – on December 31st, I did think of going into my almost-eighteen-year-old son’s closet and finding some of our favorite picture books from when he was a little guy. I could have easily read three more books. I know I would have liked reading those books.

I could have read the 24 books and achieved my goal. But that felt like cheating. 

All this made me pause and wonder if I should bother signing up for the 2026 Goodreads Reading Challenge. Why did I voluntarily sign up for the Goodreads challenge each year? What did I hope to gain from it? 

Part of me really likes the end-of-the-year statistics, and the fact that I don’t have to keep track of the numbers. Goodreads does that for me. 

For example, in 2025:

– I read over 5,000 pages. 

– The shortest book was Kelly Esparza’s A Spoonie’s Guide to Self-Acceptance. 

– The longest book was Jean Meltzer’s Magical Meet Cute.

– I reviewed more books, recognizing me as a Top 15% Reviewer.

– My top genres included romance and memoir.

And I realized something. With or without the Goodreads Reading Challenge, I would continue to buy and read books. I would enjoy talking with friends about books. I would continue to blog about the books I read. 

Because that’s who I am. I’m a reader. 

Which is also the reason why I didn’t achieve my goal. I read much more than the books listed on Goodreads. I have three magazine subscriptions (Writer’s Digest, Poets & Writers, and Real Simple. My mom and I share the Real Simple). I have subscribed to many blogs and Substacks, and do my best to read and like and comment. And I actually read the books; I don’t listen to audio books. 

So this year, I have once again set my goal for 24 books. 

And whether or not I achieve my goal isn’t the point. For me, it’s the feeling of being in community with other booklovers. It’s the opportunity to discover new books and new authors. It’s the excitement that comes from finally reading a book I’ve been eagerly anticipating. And, it’s the belief that every book I read brings me a little bit closer to achieving my ultimate goal — being the author of my own book and getting my book into the hands of readers. 

Please note: I am including a link to buy the books mentioned this week. If you use my link, I do make a small commission on your purchase at no additional cost to you. I am working with Bookshop.org which also sends a portion of the profit to support local, independent bookstores.

Broken (in the best possible way)

Posted on by Wendy Kennar

Jenny Lawson has been an author on my want-to-read list for a while now. I had seen, and remembered, her books — mainly because her covers are incredibly unique and absolutely do stand out and you can’t easily forget a cover that features a taxidermic roadkill raccoon. (That’s the cover of her nonfiction book, Furiously Happy.) I subscribe to Jenny’s blog, where she is known as “The Bloggess.” And, if I ever get to San Antonio, Texas I plan on visiting Nowhere Bookshop, the independent bookstore Ms. Lawson founded. 

In fact, I purchased Broken (in the best possible way) near the end of 2024, complete with one of Ms. Lawson’s well-known personalized messages. A year later, I read the book and only have positive things to say (I mean, write) about it. 

From the back of the book: “In Broken, Jenny brings readers on her mental and physical health journey, offering heartbreaking and hilarious anecdotes along the way.” 

Not only did I place a sticky note on many pages of the book, I actually laughed out loud several times, too! (The chapter, “Six Times I’ve Lost My Shoes While Wearing Them: A List that Shouldn’t Exist,” is absolutely laugh-out-loud-funny!) 

This week, I share with you some of my favorite passages. (Keyword – some; I simply con’t include them all.)

“It’s weird because we often try to present our fake, shiny, happy selves to others and make sure we’re not wearing too-obvious pajamas at the grocery store, but really, who wants to see that level of fraud? No one. What we really want is to know we’re not alone in our terribleness. We want to appreciate the failure that makes us perfectly us and wonderfully relatable to every other person out there who is also pretending that they have their shit together and didn’t just eat that onion ring that fell on the floor. Human foibles are what make us us, and the art of mortification is what brings us all together.” 



“Be good. Be kind. Love each other. Fuck everything else. The only thing that matters is how you feel and how you’ve made others feel. And I feel okay (for the moment), and I make others feel okay by being a barometer of awkwardness and self-doubt.” 

“I try to look on the bright side. If I were still working in HR I’d have to be on disability now, but since I work from home I can adjust my schedule to my broken body and my mind. I can still afford the expensive medications and doctors’ bills and there are a lot of people who can’t. I’m lucky. I could be sicker. I could be dead.”

“But I’ll keep going. And I’ll keep fighting. And I’ll keep forgiving myself for being flawed and human, and if I can’t write a funny chapter I’ll write a chapter like this. One that might be a little pathetic, might not make sense to anyone but me, but is still true. Exactly like me.” 

I highly recommend the chapter, “These Truisms Leave Out a Lot of the Truth.” Ms. Lawson talks about those books “filled with small phrases and truisms that are supposed to be inspirational. And they were. In that I read them all and promptly added the parts that the authors had left out.” Ms. Lawson explains, “people tell you to ‘take the bull by the horns,’ but why? It’s a bull. Where are you taking it? And if you are going to take it somewhere I’m pretty sure you don’t drag it by the horns. The rule of bulls is avoid the horns. They aren’t bicycle handlebars.” 

Additionally, the chapter, “An Open Letter to My Health Insurance Company” is heartbreaking and honest and hilarious. This chapter needs to be given and read by every pharmacy. Every doctor. Every hospital. Every insurance company. Taken from the first paragraph: “It was a mistake to think that an insurance company claiming to want to help you in your sickest hours was anything other than a scam … after all, you are here to make money. And I am here to live. And it seems those things are sometimes mutually exclusive.”

“I don’t think I’m alone in this. I think many of us struggle with the thought that it’s okay to take care of ourselves, and it’s strange that it’s a struggle to treat ourselves as kindly as we treat the dog. The dog needs walks and healthy choices and water and play and sleep and naps and bacon and more naps. And love. I need that too. And so do you. It’s not just a gift we give to ourselves … it’s a duty.”

“… we are changed by life… it puts its teeth in us, it leaves its handprints and marks and scars on us. And as much as we try to ignore those things, in the end they make us who we are. For good or for bad, we are changed and touched and broken and mended and scarred. And those marks (inside and out) tell a story. They tell our story.” 

Also, the whole “Souls” chapter. Beautiful! That’s all I’m going to say. You really have to read it yourself.

And I’ll end this post with the sentences Ms. Lawson wrote to end her book: “Good night. Be safe. Be kind to each other. Be kind to yourself. And if no one else has said it yet, thank you for being you. You are magic. Never doubt it, my friend.”

Friends, have you read Broken? Or any of Jenny Lawson’s books? 

You can pre-order signed copies of Jenny’s new book How to Be Okay When Nothing Is Okay: Tips and Tricks That Kept Me Alive, Happy, and Creative in Spite of Myself from Nowhere Bookshop. The book publishes on March 31st, 2026.

Wishing you all a peaceful, joyful New Year! May it be filled with light, love, laughter, and books. And lots of reading time!

Please note: I am including a link to buy the book that I’m highlighting this week. If you use my link, I do make a small commission on your purchase at no additional cost to you. I am working with Bookshop.org which also sends a portion of the profit to support local, independent bookstores.

A Spoonie’s Guide to Self-Acceptance

Posted on by Wendy Kennar

I’ve written about being a “spoonie.” And the difficulty I had in referring to myself as a “spoonie.” (You can read more about it here.)

Whether or not I describe myself as a spoonie, certain facts remain:

– I live with a chronic illness causing chronic pain.

– I have limited amounts of energy each day.

– I cannot always rely on my body to do what I would like it to do.

– There is no denying all the ways illness has changed my life, and all these years later I still feel sad/angry/frustrated for all the “little” ways my daily life has been made harder since becoming chronically ill.

These feelings are not unique to me. Which is one of the reasons I wanted to read A Spoonie’s Guide to Self-Acceptance, a poetry chapbook written by Kelly Esparza. (Kelly serves as the Editor-in-Chief of FLARE Magazine, an online journal where my personal essay, “Am I a Spoonie?”, was published.)

Ms. Esparza’s collection is an honest, tender, thoughtful look at a spoonie’s life.

There were many times I read a poem and felt myself nodding in agreement. Because, unfortunately, Ms. Esparza “gets it.”

Here are just a few phrases that really made an impression on me:

“rashes snake up your legs,
a butterfly blush kisses your cheeks,” from “Blame It on the Sun”

“You get wheeled around in a wheelchair sometimes,
because you’re Fatigue’s next victim,
and you’re stuck in Inflammation’s sticky spider web of deceit”  from “Invisible Illness”

And the final poem in the collection may be my favorite. It’s titled, “Welcome to the Spoonie Club,” and includes these phrases:

“I’ve got a bouquet of spoonie problems,
but I’m not letting that stop me.”

And

“Knives cut where it hurts,
forks, are pitchforks for the hunted,
yet spoons scoop and uplift.”

One last thing, friends. Wishing you Merry, Happy Days. May you feel cozy and comfortable. And may you enjoy lots of reading time!

Surviving the Holiday Season with Invisible Illness

Posted on by Wendy Kennar

When this blog post publishes on Wednesday, December 17th, we will be a week away from Christmas Eve, a week and two days away from Kwanzaa, and at about the halfway point in terms of celebrating Chanukah. And I have a gift recommendation to share with you!

Author, coach, speaker, and friend, Sandra Postma, has written Surviving the Holiday Season with Invisible Illness. This e-book is under-60 pages, with large font and lots of white space. After purchase, you can access it on your phone or your computer monitor or print it out to have a physical copy nearby. All these options exist, all these thoughtful touches were put into place, because Sandra is herself a spoonie and she “gets it.” 

This book is a gift. 

A gift for someone living with an invisible illness. A gift that says, “I know. The holidays can be so tough. I’ve been there. Let’s see if I can help.”

A gift for someone living with an invisible illness to give to friends and families. A gift that says, “Here. Please read this. This is how I feel but didn’t know quite how to express.”

A gift for the friends and family of someone living with an invisible illness. A gift that says, “I wanted to learn more about how I can help you and support you during the holidays so I bought, and read, this book. This is what I learned. Now, let’s apply it.” 

Sandra has really thought of it all. Her book offers:

– Suggested scripts for when you have to decline an invitation (and a reminder that “you cannot control how others react, and saying no respectfully is a personal boundary; not a failure.”)

– Virtual pats-on-the-back for the work you’re doing living with a chronic illness and also trying to navigate the holidays, families, and different routines and activities in ways best suited for your individual situation

– Reminders to be gentle with ourselves. Our lives will look a lot different than others who are not chronically ill. 

– Encouragement in the truth we sometimes overlook. As Sandra writes, “Wherever you are in bed, on the sofa, or somewhere in between, there is one certainty in life and that is change.” Spoonies know that change isn’t always positive, but what if it is? “What if things will become amazing? I want to be here to see it.”

– Planning pages to help you intentionally create your own Survival Kit, so it will be ready when you need it

– Collection of Affirmations, when you just need a little burst of a pep talk

– A change in perspective. Sometimes it’s so easy to just keep going, telling ourselves the same thing over and over, behaving in the same way. Sometimes it really does take someone else to shine a light and help us see things differently. I keep returning to these statements: “We don’t always have to fix a negative emotion, distract ourselves from it or turn it around. We feel stuff for a reason and it doesn’t appear so we can then push it back down.” 

Thank you, Sandra, for taking the time and energy to put this e-book out into the world.