Heidi Shertok

Unorthodox Love

Posted on by Wendy Kennar

When book mail arrived, containing Heidi Shertok’s recently-published novel, Match Me If You Can, I was super excited. (I think book mail is the second-best kind of mail to receive. What’s better than book mail? Mail from my pen pal, my dear friend, Aya!) 

Then I realized I had Ms. Shertok’s first novel, Unorthodox Love, waiting for me on one of my overflowing, want-to-read shelves.

What a delight! Unorthodox Love is a rom-com, featuring a main character who is an Orthodox Jewish woman. Not only was I a fan of Penina, I liked her spunk and her originality, I also learned quite a bit about traditions and rituals within the Orthodox Jewish community. 

Here are a few of my favorite passages:

“‘What’s so bad about helping people?’
“He stops moving and turns to face me. ‘You do realize that there are millions and millions of people in the world suffering right now, and there’s absolutely nothing you or I can do to stop it?’
“‘I’m three for three so far,’ I say, lifting my shoulders. ‘And the day is still young.’” 

“I close my eyes, breathing in the familiar newborn scent, and focus on the feel of the baby’s heart beating against mine. I wish I could suspend this moment in time, where I can pretend, even briefly, that this child belongs to me instead of someone else. Sometimes, the yearning to be a mother is so strong that it literally steals my breath away, and I have to remind myself to breathe.” (Just for context, Penina volunteers in the NICU of the local hospital.)

“‘And the dessert is from the kosher bakery,’ he adds with a crooked smile, ‘so you’re covered there too.’
“My stomach somersaults. Everyone says that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but apparently it works for me too — maybe because I can barely manage to feed myself, unless frozen microwave dinners count.
“For a moment, time seems to stand still as his eyes hover on my face, then run over my dress, as though it’s the sexiest thing he’s ever seen. His gaze is scorching hot, and I feel myself melting, but I force myself to tear my eyes off his. Everyone at the table has stopped talking and is glancing between the two of us with undisguised interest. Sam either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care, made further evident when he bends down to whisper in my ear, ‘Green is my new favorite color.’” 

“Sam was right when he said that I’m more than just a woman who can’t have kids. I’m a daughter, a sister, aunt, and friend, and a very fine sales associate. Peoples’ lives are messy and complicated, and even though we don’t always see it, everyone has struggles. You can’t be human and go through life without some kind of trauma or pain, but those experiences don’t define who we are.”

“I can’t even begin to encapsulate how much this experience has meant to me. How do I explain that meeting him was a turning point in my life? That because of this fake engagement, I’ve learned to trust that my family will take care of their problems. That I’ve realized it’s okay — no, it’s essential to focus on my own needs.”

Friends, do you enjoy reading romance novels? What was the last romance novel you read and loved?

Please note: I am including a link to buy the book that I’m highlighting this week. If you use my link, I do make a small commission on your purchase at no additional cost to you. I am working with Bookshop.org which also sends a portion of the profit to support local, independent bookstores.
 

Chronically Parenting

Posted on by Wendy Kennar

I don’t listen to many podcasts, but I do make a point to listen to Jean Meltzer’s monthly podcast, Chronically Fabulous. (I wrote about her podcast back in January. If you missed that blog post, you can read it here.)

Her third episode featured special guest, Heidi Shertok. Like Jean, Heidi is also a Jewish author, writing rom-coms, and living with chronic illness. Their conversation focused on parenting when you’re chronically ill. 

Jean, Heidi, and I all have different perspectives based on our different life experiences when it comes to parenting. Jean and her husband made the decision not to have children. Heidi entered into marriage and parenthood as a chronically ill woman. And I become ill when my son was two years old. 

There were several moments when I paused the podcast so I could jot down a note, because I knew I would want to write about their conversation and share it with you, readers. Because finding your community is so important, especially when your body doesn’t behave the way you’d like it to. And when I come across something — a podcast, a book, a line in an article — that allows me to feel seen and understood, it’s something I want to share with you as well. 

With that in mind, here are just a few of the highlights from their podcast conversation: 

– Jean and Heidi spoke of the idea of “masking.” I’ve always referred to it as putting on my game face, others might say it’s like having your poker face on and not letting your true emotions out. It’s the idea that on the surface no one can tell how you’re really feeling inside. You keep your pain, your discomfort, your worry out of sight. You present as healthy — because, at least for me, sometimes it’s just easier. It’s easier not to have to explain why I can’t sit on a tall bar stool, for example. (It’s really painful for me.)

– Something Heidi said really stood out to me. She said she believed her kids were lucky, growing up with a mom who is chronically ill. Her kids have learned/are learning there are all sorts of “normals” within families. There is not one right way for a family to be. Likewise, I hope that by growing up with a mom who has an invisible disability, my son has learned that you often can’t tell what someone is going through just by looking at them; that many people are out and about in the world, dealing with pain we can’t see. 

– Heidi also shared something her rheumatologist told her when she was young: A lot of people are like most flowers, you can put them anywhere and they’ll thrive. While people like Jean, Heidi, and myself, and others with chronic illness, are like orchids; we can only thrive in very specific environments. I love that analogy. 

Dear readers, any podcast recommendations you’d like to share? I also sometimes listen to The Shit No One Tells You About Writing (such a great title!) or an episode of Moms Don’t Have Time to Read Books when I’m doing my daily physical therapy exercises/stretches at home.