Month: December 2025

Broken (in the best possible way)

Posted on by Wendy Kennar

Jenny Lawson has been an author on my want-to-read list for a while now. I had seen, and remembered, her books — mainly because her covers are incredibly unique and absolutely do stand out and you can’t easily forget a cover that features a taxidermic roadkill raccoon. (That’s the cover of her nonfiction book, Furiously Happy.) I subscribe to Jenny’s blog, where she is known as “The Bloggess.” And, if I ever get to San Antonio, Texas I plan on visiting Nowhere Bookshop, the independent bookstore Ms. Lawson founded. 

In fact, I purchased Broken (in the best possible way) near the end of 2024, complete with one of Ms. Lawson’s well-known personalized messages. A year later, I read the book and only have positive things to say (I mean, write) about it. 

From the back of the book: “In Broken, Jenny brings readers on her mental and physical health journey, offering heartbreaking and hilarious anecdotes along the way.” 

Not only did I place a sticky note on many pages of the book, I actually laughed out loud several times, too! (The chapter, “Six Times I’ve Lost My Shoes While Wearing Them: A List that Shouldn’t Exist,” is absolutely laugh-out-loud-funny!) 

This week, I share with you some of my favorite passages. (Keyword – some; I simply con’t include them all.)

“It’s weird because we often try to present our fake, shiny, happy selves to others and make sure we’re not wearing too-obvious pajamas at the grocery store, but really, who wants to see that level of fraud? No one. What we really want is to know we’re not alone in our terribleness. We want to appreciate the failure that makes us perfectly us and wonderfully relatable to every other person out there who is also pretending that they have their shit together and didn’t just eat that onion ring that fell on the floor. Human foibles are what make us us, and the art of mortification is what brings us all together.” 



“Be good. Be kind. Love each other. Fuck everything else. The only thing that matters is how you feel and how you’ve made others feel. And I feel okay (for the moment), and I make others feel okay by being a barometer of awkwardness and self-doubt.” 

“I try to look on the bright side. If I were still working in HR I’d have to be on disability now, but since I work from home I can adjust my schedule to my broken body and my mind. I can still afford the expensive medications and doctors’ bills and there are a lot of people who can’t. I’m lucky. I could be sicker. I could be dead.”

“But I’ll keep going. And I’ll keep fighting. And I’ll keep forgiving myself for being flawed and human, and if I can’t write a funny chapter I’ll write a chapter like this. One that might be a little pathetic, might not make sense to anyone but me, but is still true. Exactly like me.” 

I highly recommend the chapter, “These Truisms Leave Out a Lot of the Truth.” Ms. Lawson talks about those books “filled with small phrases and truisms that are supposed to be inspirational. And they were. In that I read them all and promptly added the parts that the authors had left out.” Ms. Lawson explains, “people tell you to ‘take the bull by the horns,’ but why? It’s a bull. Where are you taking it? And if you are going to take it somewhere I’m pretty sure you don’t drag it by the horns. The rule of bulls is avoid the horns. They aren’t bicycle handlebars.” 

Additionally, the chapter, “An Open Letter to My Health Insurance Company” is heartbreaking and honest and hilarious. This chapter needs to be given and read by every pharmacy. Every doctor. Every hospital. Every insurance company. Taken from the first paragraph: “It was a mistake to think that an insurance company claiming to want to help you in your sickest hours was anything other than a scam … after all, you are here to make money. And I am here to live. And it seems those things are sometimes mutually exclusive.”

“I don’t think I’m alone in this. I think many of us struggle with the thought that it’s okay to take care of ourselves, and it’s strange that it’s a struggle to treat ourselves as kindly as we treat the dog. The dog needs walks and healthy choices and water and play and sleep and naps and bacon and more naps. And love. I need that too. And so do you. It’s not just a gift we give to ourselves … it’s a duty.”

“… we are changed by life… it puts its teeth in us, it leaves its handprints and marks and scars on us. And as much as we try to ignore those things, in the end they make us who we are. For good or for bad, we are changed and touched and broken and mended and scarred. And those marks (inside and out) tell a story. They tell our story.” 

Also, the whole “Souls” chapter. Beautiful! That’s all I’m going to say. You really have to read it yourself.

And I’ll end this post with the sentences Ms. Lawson wrote to end her book: “Good night. Be safe. Be kind to each other. Be kind to yourself. And if no one else has said it yet, thank you for being you. You are magic. Never doubt it, my friend.”

Friends, have you read Broken? Or any of Jenny Lawson’s books? 

You can pre-order signed copies of Jenny’s new book How to Be Okay When Nothing Is Okay: Tips and Tricks That Kept Me Alive, Happy, and Creative in Spite of Myself from Nowhere Bookshop. The book publishes on March 31st, 2026.

Wishing you all a peaceful, joyful New Year! May it be filled with light, love, laughter, and books. And lots of reading time!

Please note: I am including a link to buy the book that I’m highlighting this week. If you use my link, I do make a small commission on your purchase at no additional cost to you. I am working with Bookshop.org which also sends a portion of the profit to support local, independent bookstores.

A Spoonie’s Guide to Self-Acceptance

Posted on by Wendy Kennar

I’ve written about being a “spoonie.” And the difficulty I had in referring to myself as a “spoonie.” (You can read more about it here.)

Whether or not I describe myself as a spoonie, certain facts remain:

– I live with a chronic illness causing chronic pain.

– I have limited amounts of energy each day.

– I cannot always rely on my body to do what I would like it to do.

– There is no denying all the ways illness has changed my life, and all these years later I still feel sad/angry/frustrated for all the “little” ways my daily life has been made harder since becoming chronically ill.

These feelings are not unique to me. Which is one of the reasons I wanted to read A Spoonie’s Guide to Self-Acceptance, a poetry chapbook written by Kelly Esparza. (Kelly serves as the Editor-in-Chief of FLARE Magazine, an online journal where my personal essay, “Am I a Spoonie?”, was published.)

Ms. Esparza’s collection is an honest, tender, thoughtful look at a spoonie’s life.

There were many times I read a poem and felt myself nodding in agreement. Because, unfortunately, Ms. Esparza “gets it.”

Here are just a few phrases that really made an impression on me:

“rashes snake up your legs,
a butterfly blush kisses your cheeks,” from “Blame It on the Sun”

“You get wheeled around in a wheelchair sometimes,
because you’re Fatigue’s next victim,
and you’re stuck in Inflammation’s sticky spider web of deceit”  from “Invisible Illness”

And the final poem in the collection may be my favorite. It’s titled, “Welcome to the Spoonie Club,” and includes these phrases:

“I’ve got a bouquet of spoonie problems,
but I’m not letting that stop me.”

And

“Knives cut where it hurts,
forks, are pitchforks for the hunted,
yet spoons scoop and uplift.”

One last thing, friends. Wishing you Merry, Happy Days. May you feel cozy and comfortable. And may you enjoy lots of reading time!

Surviving the Holiday Season with Invisible Illness

Posted on by Wendy Kennar

When this blog post publishes on Wednesday, December 17th, we will be a week away from Christmas Eve, a week and two days away from Kwanzaa, and at about the halfway point in terms of celebrating Chanukah. And I have a gift recommendation to share with you!

Author, coach, speaker, and friend, Sandra Postma, has written Surviving the Holiday Season with Invisible Illness. This e-book is under-60 pages, with large font and lots of white space. After purchase, you can access it on your phone or your computer monitor or print it out to have a physical copy nearby. All these options exist, all these thoughtful touches were put into place, because Sandra is herself a spoonie and she “gets it.” 

This book is a gift. 

A gift for someone living with an invisible illness. A gift that says, “I know. The holidays can be so tough. I’ve been there. Let’s see if I can help.”

A gift for someone living with an invisible illness to give to friends and families. A gift that says, “Here. Please read this. This is how I feel but didn’t know quite how to express.”

A gift for the friends and family of someone living with an invisible illness. A gift that says, “I wanted to learn more about how I can help you and support you during the holidays so I bought, and read, this book. This is what I learned. Now, let’s apply it.” 

Sandra has really thought of it all. Her book offers:

– Suggested scripts for when you have to decline an invitation (and a reminder that “you cannot control how others react, and saying no respectfully is a personal boundary; not a failure.”)

– Virtual pats-on-the-back for the work you’re doing living with a chronic illness and also trying to navigate the holidays, families, and different routines and activities in ways best suited for your individual situation

– Reminders to be gentle with ourselves. Our lives will look a lot different than others who are not chronically ill. 

– Encouragement in the truth we sometimes overlook. As Sandra writes, “Wherever you are in bed, on the sofa, or somewhere in between, there is one certainty in life and that is change.” Spoonies know that change isn’t always positive, but what if it is? “What if things will become amazing? I want to be here to see it.”

– Planning pages to help you intentionally create your own Survival Kit, so it will be ready when you need it

– Collection of Affirmations, when you just need a little burst of a pep talk

– A change in perspective. Sometimes it’s so easy to just keep going, telling ourselves the same thing over and over, behaving in the same way. Sometimes it really does take someone else to shine a light and help us see things differently. I keep returning to these statements: “We don’t always have to fix a negative emotion, distract ourselves from it or turn it around. We feel stuff for a reason and it doesn’t appear so we can then push it back down.” 

Thank you, Sandra, for taking the time and energy to put this e-book out into the world.

Will You Join Me, Please?

Posted on by Wendy Kennar

Hi Friends,

I don’t one-hundred percent know what I’m doing in terms of my writing career. (To be honest, I never dreamed I would even have a “writing career.”) I do know that I’m always learning, I’m always trying to improve — in terms of my writing craft, the way in which I share my writing, and the ways I connect with readers and other writers.

I have written a weekly blog for over a decade. In those very early years, before I invested in my website (www.wendykennar.com), each week’s post was written about any and all subjects. Anything I felt like writing and sharing I did. It was random, and because of the lack of cohesiveness, I think it was harder to find readers who would subscribe and regularly read my posts. It was much more difficult to form a community back then. 

Then, I re-organized my blog and wrote about one of three B’s in my life — Books (because writers are also readers), Boys (I’m the mother of a son and a former elementary school teacher), and Bodies (I live with an invisible disability). 

I have since deleted the “Boys” section, because my son is almost an adult. I don’t write about him and our interactions and relationship in the same way. Plus, I haven’t been a teacher now for twelve years. 

And, in another move that is also related to learning and growing, I have started a Substack account. Some of my blog subscribers have signed up for my Substack, currently known as “Wendy’s Weekly Words.” (wendykennar.substack.com) But for the most part, my Substack subscribers and my blog subscribers function as two distinct groups. 

I would like to change that. Here’s how:

I will continue posting my weekly blog here at www.wendykennar.com . My blog posts will generally be focused on books and bodies. Each week, I’ll continue writing about something I have read or my experiences with a chronic illness, life with chronic pain, and/or living with an invisible disability. 

And, I will be writing a bi-weekly Substack (wendykennar.substack.com), which will not just be a copy of what I have up on my blog. (Which is the way my relatively young Substack has been used up to this point.) 

My bi-weekly Substack will now include:

–  links to my recent blog posts in case you missed them 

– a writing prompt

– a wondering (something I’m confused about or have questions about. Maybe you have the answers.)

– a recommendation (something I read or watched or listened to)

– and when I can, a couple of famous dates in history that are somehow relevant to my writing and what I share. 

That’s what I’m planning to do. 

Here’s what I’m asking of you, please:

If you haven’t already done so, please subscribe to both my Substack (wendykennar.substack.com) and Blog (www.wendykennar.com). If you already are subscribed at both places, please just let me know in the comments section on one of my sites. (It would be great if you also followed me on Instagram @wendykennar. That way you’re sure not to miss out on anything I write or share.)

Those of you who subscribe to both my Substack and Blog, will then have a chance to win a book in a drawing. Names will be placed into a hat and I will randomly draw one reader’s name. As a thank you, I will mail you a personalized copy of Chicken Soup For the Soul: It’s Beginning to Look a Lot like Christmas. (My story, “A Timeless Gift,” is included in this collection.)

October 2019

This is all new to me. I’ve never done anything like this before. Maybe I’ll need to make some changes down the road. But for now, we’re going to give this a try. I hope you will continue being with me on this journey. Living with a chronic illness and writing can both be pretty isolating. I hope you know how much I value your support, how much your being here with me really does help!

Sign up by next week’s blog post on Wednesday, December 17th. That way I can have the drawing on Thursday, December 18th, and I can get your book out in the mail on Friday, December 19th. 

After that you can expect regular blog posts each Wednesday morning. 

And the first issue of my bi-weekly Substack will go out on Sunday, December 28th. (And the next Substack will be in your inbox on Sunday, January 11th, 2026.)

Thank you, friends. Thank you for reading. Thank you for supporting my writing. Thank you for supporting me.

Unorthodox Love

Posted on by Wendy Kennar

When book mail arrived, containing Heidi Shertok’s recently-published novel, Match Me If You Can, I was super excited. (I think book mail is the second-best kind of mail to receive. What’s better than book mail? Mail from my pen pal, my dear friend, Aya!) 

Then I realized I had Ms. Shertok’s first novel, Unorthodox Love, waiting for me on one of my overflowing, want-to-read shelves.

What a delight! Unorthodox Love is a rom-com, featuring a main character who is an Orthodox Jewish woman. Not only was I a fan of Penina, I liked her spunk and her originality, I also learned quite a bit about traditions and rituals within the Orthodox Jewish community. 

Here are a few of my favorite passages:

“‘What’s so bad about helping people?’
“He stops moving and turns to face me. ‘You do realize that there are millions and millions of people in the world suffering right now, and there’s absolutely nothing you or I can do to stop it?’
“‘I’m three for three so far,’ I say, lifting my shoulders. ‘And the day is still young.’” 

“I close my eyes, breathing in the familiar newborn scent, and focus on the feel of the baby’s heart beating against mine. I wish I could suspend this moment in time, where I can pretend, even briefly, that this child belongs to me instead of someone else. Sometimes, the yearning to be a mother is so strong that it literally steals my breath away, and I have to remind myself to breathe.” (Just for context, Penina volunteers in the NICU of the local hospital.)

“‘And the dessert is from the kosher bakery,’ he adds with a crooked smile, ‘so you’re covered there too.’
“My stomach somersaults. Everyone says that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but apparently it works for me too — maybe because I can barely manage to feed myself, unless frozen microwave dinners count.
“For a moment, time seems to stand still as his eyes hover on my face, then run over my dress, as though it’s the sexiest thing he’s ever seen. His gaze is scorching hot, and I feel myself melting, but I force myself to tear my eyes off his. Everyone at the table has stopped talking and is glancing between the two of us with undisguised interest. Sam either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care, made further evident when he bends down to whisper in my ear, ‘Green is my new favorite color.’” 

“Sam was right when he said that I’m more than just a woman who can’t have kids. I’m a daughter, a sister, aunt, and friend, and a very fine sales associate. Peoples’ lives are messy and complicated, and even though we don’t always see it, everyone has struggles. You can’t be human and go through life without some kind of trauma or pain, but those experiences don’t define who we are.”

“I can’t even begin to encapsulate how much this experience has meant to me. How do I explain that meeting him was a turning point in my life? That because of this fake engagement, I’ve learned to trust that my family will take care of their problems. That I’ve realized it’s okay — no, it’s essential to focus on my own needs.”

Friends, do you enjoy reading romance novels? What was the last romance novel you read and loved?

Please note: I am including a link to buy the book that I’m highlighting this week. If you use my link, I do make a small commission on your purchase at no additional cost to you. I am working with Bookshop.org which also sends a portion of the profit to support local, independent bookstores.