Zibby Books

Super Bloom

Posted on by Wendy Kennar

I recently finished reading Megan Tady’s novel Super Bloom.

It’s a novel about friendship and reinventing yourself when life doesn’t follow the path you thought it would. 

It’s a novel about writers and romance books. 

It’s a novel that offers a behind-the-curtains look at the massage industry as told from the point of view of our main character, Joan, a massage therapist.

It’s one of those novels that keeps you turning pages, because you just have to find out what happens next. And for me, it started with the first sentence — “I harbor a secret fantasy to go apeshit at work.” 

Here are a few of the passages that caused me to pause and mark the page with a sticky note and a yellow highlighter:

“…I love that muscles speak their own language and I can spend hours coaxing them to reveal themselves to me.”

“Instead, I imagine my clients’ private lives and then write down the stories, envisioning their secrets and passions and hurts based on the slope of the lower back, the elasticity of skin, the rigidity of muscles. My hands pass over bodies as if I’m reading braille, and their worlds unfold.”

“My smile is my best asset, looks-wise, though it’s as shy as a shadow-spooked groundhog. When my full smile emerges, it reveals one crooked tooth that appears to be leaning out of a Rockets chorus line to see what everyone else is doing.”

“It’s been sixteen years, but I still remember writing this thing at my parents’ kitchen table. They were both at work, and the house was quiet. As the words flew out of me, I experienced an oncoming rush, as if I were on a roller coaster inching to its highest peak, the noise of the wheels grinding against steel, wind whipping my hair, until I crested, and from there, for a split second, I could see for miles, a perspective where everything made sense, the entire story coming together before I plummeted back toward Earth, my stomach in my chest, my chest in my throat, my thrilled yell not audible from below.”

“I’m fighting for my livelihood by working on The Project — paying off my debt, keeping my day job. But when I write for myself, I’m fighting for my life, because remaining debilitated, angry, or bowled over without a moment’s notice by sadness is no way to exist.”

“Maybe, just maybe, I can still be a writer. Maybe it’s not too late for me. Don’t we all have dormant potential coiled up inside of us? Greatness lying within, waiting to be tapped?
“Just like Samuel’s super blooms. Seeds holding out for perfect conditions: soil, sun, rain.
“What I need is a hefty dose of willpower. A readiness to try my hardest and possibly fail. That’s the only way to bloom.”

“Was it the writing?
“Or was it simply that the forces of nature couldn’t destroy me? That nothing could stop me from pushing up to the surface, because something innate in me wanted to survive. Not only survive but transform, so that I was a better copy of my original self.”

Dear Readers, Has anyone else read Super Bloom? Were any of my favorite lines also your favorite lines? Feel free to share passages that you loved!

Please note: I am including a link to buy the book that I’m highlighting this week. If you use my link, I do make a small commission on your purchase at no additional cost to you. I am working with Bookshop.org which also sends a portion of the profit to support local, independent bookstores.


Everyone But Myself

Posted on by Wendy Kennar

It is absolutely appropriate to judge a book by its cover, especially when it comes to Julie Chavez’s memoir, Everyone But Myself. 

Between the title and the illustration on the front cover, you have a strong sense of what this book is about. This memoir is another example of an author writing the specifics of her life, and in doing so, making it universally appealing to others who “get it.”

In her note to the reader, Ms. Chavez writes: 

“Although the details vary, I’m not alone in this story. Many women ask the same questions I did: How do I respond to all the asks of the world without losing my sense of self — my interests, my desires, my dreams — in the process? How do I remain whole so that, underneath all the repetitive and the annoying and the boring, I can revel in the privilege and miracle of a perfectly messy life?”

Many moms, and I think women in general, experience this struggle; the need to care for others around us while not caring for ourselves. 

These are just a few of the passages that resonated with me:

“Since those early newlywed days I’d discarded heaps of useless advice and ideas, and I’d also learned the difference between distance and space. Distance grew from the accumulation of tiny resentments, the swallowed frustrations that are an inevitable part of coexistence between two imperfect humans. Space, on the other hand, was a necessity, creating room for our deepest needs: respite, rest, recovery.”

“I believed that I would be most fulfilled by being indispensable, that I was loved because I was needed. Protecting space for ourselves may be an issue for those around us, those who are accustomed to our endless availability. But it’s an act of self-care, of self-love, to say, ‘No, this space — this time — belongs to me.’ ”

“It was quiet. I found momentary respite from my world, from its loss and need and upheaval. It was just me, there with myself, the part of me that exists outside of my disparate pieces and roles and obligations and imagined obligations.
I’m enough, I thought. And I’m okay.
One step forward.”

“ ‘You’re handling a lot right now,’ Kim said. ‘I’m not surprised you’re feeling sad.’
These basic affirmations from Kim were invaluable. It was reassuring to hear her observations that my plate was indeed full, that hard things were justifiably hard, that what I was feeling or experiencing was normal. I’d done years of unappreciated work, and the person who appreciated my efforts least had been me. Kim was training me to see this invisible load, to count it as valid and worthy of attention and accommodation. She reminded me that it was normal to have bad days and normal to be an emotional, feeling person in a fucked-up world. Feelings weren’t an early warning sign I was an unbalanced nut. I was merely responding to the ups and downs of life.”

“The changes I had made were small but impactful. I asked for help slightly more often, and I said no far more often. I embraced rest and put some items on my to-do list purely because they brought me joy.”

“Even though I’d occasionally painted them as insatiable leeches, the people who loved me wanted me to take time for myself. They wanted me to balance my needs with theirs, to be well and whole. I was allowed to hand off responsibilities to my husband, my kids, and others, and I was even allowed to phone it in if that’s what was best for my overall balance and wellness.”

“Therapy with Kim helped me rewrite some of the stories I had grown accustomed to telling myself. She taught me that worrying didn’t necessarily make the future brighter, but it did make the present darker.”

“I was learning to ask myself the question I’d ask someone I love: What do you need? And then whatever answer arrived — be still, exercise, meditate, lie on the couch with a book, text Kim some depressed-looking bitmojis and ask if she has appointments available — I did it.”

Please note: I am including a link to buy the book that I’m highlighting this week. If you use my link, I do make a small commission on your purchase at no additional cost to you. I am working with Bookshop.org which also sends a portion of the profit to support local, independent bookstores.

My What If Year

Posted on by Wendy Kennar

Do you ever think about other careers you might have had? Other choices you might have made? Other paths you might have taken?

And what if you had the chance to put much of your current-daily-real-life on pause and try out one of those unchosen careers? Would you take the chance to explore?

Alisha Fernandez Miranda did! And she wrote a memoir about it called My What If Year. 

From the back cover of the book:  “Delightfully irreverent, My What If Year recounts the adventures of a successful, Latina CEO and mother of twins who — on the cusp of turning forty — takes a break from her job for one year to explore the dream careers she never pursued. Alisha’s hilarious internship adventure takes her to Broadway, the London art scene, a posh Scottish hotel, and the workout world.”

Such a fun read! Here are a few of my favorite passages:

During her first internship, Ms. Miranda writes:  “How long had it been since I had been happy? For so long I thought the pursuit of happiness had been what was guiding me, but now I wasn’t so sure.” 

“I had no regrets, but it dawned on me that maybe my internship adventure, was, in a way, about revisiting that time of my life, a time when all the pages ahead were blank and unwritten.”

“Leaning into my strengths let me ignore my weaknesses. Yes, it allowed me to achieve and find success in the things I was good at. But I was starting to question whether I needed to be spending more time nurturing those tiny seeds of things I was terrible at — serving dinner, for example — to see if maybe they might blossom into something more, given some effort and some mistakes. Maybe it didn’t matter if it was ‘the best’ if I was doing something I loved. I didn’t even know what being the best meant anymore in this new world.”

“Truthfully, I was looking forward to seeing everyone. I was no longer as afraid of being subsumed in these other identities and knew that the core of who I was, or whoever I was figuring out I wanted to be, at least, was strong enough to stand on its own. In fact, the heft of my obligations no longer seemed overpowering; I had started to feel comforted by them, like a weighted blanket that kept me grounded.”

“ ‘Joy’ — such a simple, small word that holds so much complexity. It’s more than happiness. It’s ebullience. It’s celebration. A party all day, every day, where everyone is invited. People think joy is elusive, and they’re right; its impermanence is what makes it all the more important to cultivate, nurture, and appreciate it whenever it comes your way.” 

“But as I aged, I came to know that nothing is guaranteed. If you wanted to enjoy as much of life as possible, you had to put some intentionality behind seeking joy. You had to pay attention. If you didn’t it was likely to slip through your fingers.” 

“I didn’t want to have to keep taking side paths and then retracing my steps back to the main road. I wanted the detours to be the main road. Over the past few months, I had finally gotten, for brief moments in time, the chance to be the versions of myself I had seen in the shadows of my memories. I loved the chance to step into their shoes, but I didn’t want to be any of them, really. I wanted to be original me, but with the freedom to take the pieces from each and carry them with me as I continued on ahead.”

“One of the things I appreciated most about being an intern was the ability to not feel overwhelmed by my mental load. Making space meant that, all of a sudden, my brain had more room to think about other things and to consider other possibilities. Ideas for new projects sprang up like daffodils in the springtime. There was a lot in there that had been obscured by the constant to-do lists. My internships had given me a chance to see those things clearly.”

“I didn’t know much about what the next chapter of my life would hold, but I knew I needed to embody the spirit of being an intern in whatever I did: be adaptable; learn to fail; be okay with not being the best; let go of the plan sometimes; and above all, listen, learn, and find joy in every day.” 

Please note: I am including a link to buy the book that I’m highlighting this week. If you use my link, I do make a small commission on your purchase at no additional cost to you. I am working with Bookshop.org which also sends a portion of the profit to support local, independent bookstores.

(I apologize if any part of this week’s blog format looks strange. There may be a number or letter randomly showing up. Please, let’s just pretend it’s not there.)

The #22in22 Initiative

Posted on by Wendy Kennar

Since this is my first post in 2022, I wanted to take this opportunity to tell you about the #22in22 Initiative started by Zibby Books.

Here’s what you need to know:

The idea behind #22in22 is to visit 22 bookstores in 2022. Physically visit (if you’re able) twenty-two bookstores. This can be twenty-two different bookstores, or maybe you just visit your top three bookstores multiple times this year.

Your visits are a way to support bookstores and books. And by extension, you’re supporting authors and booksellers and everyone who works to get books on shelves.

You can sign up at https://www.22in22.net (it’s super easy), and each time you visit a bookstore, return to the website to log your visits. There are different incentives you can earn along the way. But really you’re doing it for yourself (because a visit to a bookstore is a great way to spend part of a day) and the larger book community.

The #22in22 Initiative started on Small Business Saturday, so I got a head start and have logged two visits so far:

Village Well Books and Coffee

and

My local Barnes and Noble

Let’s get reading!!! 

Here’s to a healthy, safe, peaceful, book-filled new year!