Last week I wrote about receiving my disabled parking placard.  This week I’m writing about actually using it.

Let me start by saying that, when possible, I always venture onto the residential streets to try and find a “freebie” spot.  While some meters give me an hour for $1, others double that rate.  And I know that walking is good exercise for me, so I don’t mind parking a block or so away. 

But last week, I couldn’t find a freebie spot, so I was forced to park at a closer spot, one that had a meter.  I reached for my credit card to pay the meter and then stopped myself.  I had a decision to make.  Should I pay like I usually do or park for free by displaying my placard?  I was torn and really didn’t know how best to handle the situation.  Neither decision felt quite right to me. 

I have “earned” this placard (if that’s the right word) and thus was “entitled” (again, not sure that’s the right word either) to free parking.

But. 

But I don’t “look” disabled.  But, the two dollars won’t make or break me. 

And, putting up that placard puts me and my situation out on display.

It wasn’t easy, but I did it.  I parked and walked towards my doctor’s appointment, feeling like at any moment someone would call me out as a fraud.  I know I’m not a fraud.  I know that this, sadly, is my reality.  But it’s a reality I sometimes feel unprepared for.