Month: April 2026

Strong AF

Posted on by Wendy Kennar

Recently I used some of my birthday gift money to buy myself a couple more bracelets to add to my wrist. (I was going to write “to add to my collection,” but that doesn’t feel right. These bracelets don’t just sit on display, like the glass hearts I have in my writing room. These bracelets are worn on my right wrist every day.) 

My collection of hearts

I have written about these bracelets before, two years ago, when one of my closest friends gave me my first four bracelets. (In case you missed it, or just want a reminder, click here to read “The Power of Little Words,” written in May 2024.)

This week, I’d like to share with you one of the bracelets I bought from the Little Words Project. (I also bought myself one custom bracelet, which I’ll write about another time.)

The bracelet reads: STRONG AF.

Now, I don’t curse a whole lot. I think it’s because I’ve always either worked with kids or the public and cursing on the job was never an option. As a result, the “F word” doesn’t leave my lips very often.

So, why did I buy myself a bracelet that means, “Strong As F*ck”? 

For a couple of reasons. 

First, my mom’s initials are AF. Wearing this bracelet is a tribute to her, and a way of carrying our love with me all the time. 

Secondly, my mom is a strong woman. Even when she doesn’t think so. Even when she’s frustrated that her 81-year-old body doesn’t always move or feel the way it used to. (Though, her hair is still brown and no one believes my mom is her age. People always guess younger.)

I understand those feelings of frustration. I deal with them all the time. Sometimes I move beyond frustration, and I go down that slippery path of feeling weak and/or incompetent. 

Because the reality is, my body isn’t always reliable. I can’t always depend on it to behave the way I want it to, to be able to do the things I want to do. And that makes me sad. And scared. And worried about the future. 

My mom is dealing with these feelings now, in her early 80s. 

What will it be like for me by the time I’m that age? I turned 50 this year. (I’m still not used to writing that/saying that/knowing that.) I have a handicap placard in my car’s glove compartment and a wheelchair in our downstairs closet. And if I need these things now (and the truth is, I started using these things in my late 30s), I’m scared of what my body will be like by the time I’m in my senior years, when things are expected to slow down and function differently.

That’s where “Strong As F*ck” comes in. 

Because I am continuing to learn that strength takes many forms. It’s a lesson I’ve been working on for many years, in fact. But sometimes students need reminders. 

Strong AF is my reminder. 

What’s yours? I’d love to know. Do you have a word, a phrase, a mantra that helps you when you’re feeling down, when your body refuses to cooperate, when your mind plays tricks on you? If you feel comfortable, please share in the comments.

Brooke Shields Is Not Allowed to Get Old

Posted on by Wendy Kennar

Brooke Shields and I have a few things in common. We’re both wives. We’re both mothers. We both have brown hair and brown eyes. 

And, we’re both “women of a certain age.” 

Ms. Shields is a bit older than me. (Nine years to be exact.) She’s in her very early 60’s, and I just recently celebrated my 50th birthday. 

Knowing this big birthday of mine was coming up, I was curious about the memoir Brooke Shields published in 2024 — Brooke Shields Is Not Allowed to Get Old: Thoughts on Aging as a Woman.

I loved the dedication the author wrote:

“To all the women in this new era of life: It’s an unexpected, scary, emotional, bittersweet time — and yet also refreshingly beautiful and exciting. Please give yourself room for mistakes, successes, and joy. Don’t be afraid. Be excited for what’s to come. And guess what? No matter what happens, you’ll figure it out. You always have!”

Here’s my big confession — the book was better than I thought it would be. I definitely wasn’t expecting footnotes and studies being cited. The author did such a good job of being honest and authentic when writing about the period of time when a woman’s life drastically changes; a time which can include menopause, children leaving home, career pivots, and body changes. I thought the book would mostly be centered on the author’s own experiences. And while she does include that here, there really is so much in this book that applies to all women.

Here are a few of my favorite passages:

“We are always chasing, never appreciating, and what runs through my mind is, Ugh, where is the justice?? Why are we forever criticizing ourselves and our bodies while seeking ridiculous perfection? Why do we never see how unique and special we are? And why, when we finally take the pressure off or count our blessings or just enjoy who we are, is it practically too late?”

“There came a day when I was simply tired of judging myself and feeling like I wasn’t enough. I was over the angst. I didn’t want to be mean to myself anymore, and I started to wonder where I got the idea that I needed to be perfect at everything anyway. What would it feel like in my body if I told myself I’m smart, I’m talented, I’m strong, I’m beautiful, I’m a good person and friend? I asked myself. What if I just assumed I was good enough as is? Turns out, it’s liberating!”

“Just because you think about death occasionally or recognize its inevitability — it doesn’t mean you’re close to death. It means you appreciate life. You live more thoughtfully, more fully. You approach relationships with more gratitude. You use your body a bit more intentionally.“

“Sometimes shit just happens. It’s hard to accept that, because it feels like chaos, but it’s the truth. It doesn’t mean you aren’t thankful enough or that you’re moving too fast or your priorities are out of whack. Sometimes there is no rhyme or reason.” 

“I look at what my body has done for me — bearing and nourishing children, surviving trauma, healing from harm — and I have such appreciation for it. The entirety of what my body is capable of makes me proud, and recognizing its wisdom and resilience allows me to see it beyond the limitations of body image. But that’s a perspective that comes with age. And experience.”

“… I’m a work in progress just like anyone else. And thank God for that. It’s far more fun than thinking you have it all figured out.”

“Still, I try to treat my daughters like adults these days, because they are adults. They are my babies, but they are adults, and I want to be their ally. I want them to always trust me.” 

“Do I want to do this? If I had to boil down the joy and freedom of aging to one question, that would be it. The fact that I’m finally at a place where I can ask myself if I want something, answer honestly, and act accordingly— that’s the joy of this time.” 

Friends, have any of you read Brooke Shields is Not Allowed to Get Old? What did you think of it? I’d love to chat about our experiences reading this book. 
Any thoughts about getting older? Have you learned something new? Adapted a new outlook? If you’re comfortable, please share. 

Please note: I am including a link to buy the book that I’m highlighting this week. If you use my link, I do make a small commission on your purchase at no additional cost to you. I am working with Bookshop.org which also sends a portion of the profit to support local, independent bookstores.

Analog or Nothing

Posted on by Wendy Kennar

A few weeks ago, I had a hard/frustrating/exasperating day.

You know – one of those days that feels like the laws of physics should make it impossible for so many events to happen in such a short span of time. Without going into details, I’ll just say there was lots to do (too much to even attempt in one day); multiple phone calls, texts, and emails (mostly from my son’s school and the school district in general); drivers that must have forgotten how to properly behave at a four-way stop sign; and pain that made me bite my lip, ball up my fists, and rub my leg in a pointless attempt at alleviating just a little bit of the invisible vice around my left calf.

But before all that, I had a couple of hours where I felt like I was in a magical, in-between space — where reality didn’t fully exist in this sacred space and where I could escape much of the outside world. 

Where was this “magical, in-between space”?

A neighborhood independent bookstore.

I went to this bookstore with plans to read, and write, and browse, and shop. 

While I have visited this bookstore many times for different reasons (celebrating a book launch, meeting an author, participating in a writing group, getting coffee and chatting with a friend), I had never visited the bookstore’s in-store cafe for some dedicated writing time. And the idea of some Wendy-writing-time away from a ringing phone, or sounds of the neighbor’s back door slamming, or the incessant barking of a different neighbor’s dog, sounded blissful. 

However, my writing time didn’t go quite as I had planned, because there wasn’t enough writing space for me. Although this bookstore has an in-store cafe, some of the tables are designated as “no laptop zones,” encouraging analog activities such as reading and socializing. 

In case you don’t know, I am an analog person. I have old-fashioned clocks at home, a small red boombox in my kitchen (it plays CDs and the radio), a monthly/weekly organizer on my desk, handwritten lists when I go grocery shopping — you get the idea. 

On the other hand, I use my computer every day. I’m almost always working on a piece of writing, and my MomsLA.com work requires internet access. And, on this particular morning, I had planned on working on my upcoming Substack post. (If you haven’t yet signed up, you can check out any of my Substack posts you may have missed and sign up here so you won’t miss any future posts.) 

So while I was at the bookstore with my cafe mocha and unable to use my laptop, I read a book. I jotted down ideas for a new personal essay. I read some more. 

And before I left, I bought a book. 

While I enjoyed the escape this bookstore offered, I admit I felt a bit overwhelmed when I got home and spent the rest of the day trying to “catch up” and get work done. 

I understand bookstores and cafes don’t want one customer to sit and occupy a table for hours. These small businesses need a steady stream of paying customers coming in throughout the day. 

But, I also needed an out-of-the-house spot to get some work done. 

Friends, have you had any similar experiences where you couldn’t use your technology? What do you think of no-laptop zones?