Halloween

Behavior To Be Proud Of

Posted on by wkennar
My little firefighter. Halloween 2013.

 

For the first several years of his life, my son didn’t want to go trick-or-treating.

Actually, for the first couple years of his life, we just didn’t take him. He was a baby. He didn’t eat candy.

But then Ryan got older, understood the idea of dressing up in a costume, and he still didn’t go trick-or-treating. Because he didn’t want to. 

One year we asked if he simply wanted to show our next-door neighbors his costume. He said no.

Now, though, we visit the homes of our closest neighbors each Halloween. Ryan always greets them with an enthusiastic “trick-or-treat” and says goodbye with a heartfelt “thank you.” 

Then we come home and sort the loot into three piles. A pile for Ryan. A pile for my husband. And a pile to donate. Some years the donated candy goes with my husband to work to be shared with his co-workers. Some years, Ryan and I take the donated candy to our local fire station. 

For Ryan, trick-or-treating has never been about the candy. Though chocolate is always available in our home, Ryan just isn’t a big candy-eater.

Likewise, Ryan didn’t learn that visiting Santa Claus meant asking for gifts until he was 5 years old.

We never told him. 

We visited Santa at the mall. Exchanged pleasantries. Wished him a Merry Christmas, and were on our way.

It wasn’t until Ryan was in kindergarten, waiting in line for his turn to take a photo with Santa, when one of Santa’s “elves” asked Ryan what he was planning to ask Santa to bring him for Christmas. 

Ryan looked at me in confusion. This was a brand new concept. Because up until then, we had always stressed the spirit of the season. The music. The decorations. The joy in finding the candle with the best fragrance for Grandma.

Ryan always received presents. Many presents. But they were always surprises. Nothing he had ever specifically asked for. 

Until that year. 

And even now, Ryan never asks for things he wouldn’t get. His requests are always reasonable. 

It makes me proud that as parents, my husband and I are raising a son who isn’t focused, first and foremost, on what people will give him (whether it’s Halloween candy or Christmas gifts). 

 

In Disguise

Posted on by wkennar
Halloween 2008 – Dressed as “Fancy Nancy”

I think Halloween is popular for a number of reasons.  The candy, of course.  But beyond that, Halloween gives us permission to put on costumes and disguises.  To try out new identities, with the safety of knowing it’s temporary.

For some, these costumes, these disguises are a natural extension of who they usually are.  For others, these costumes are a complete departure from their more usual personality.   

For my ten-year-old son, it’s a bit of both.  Over the years, he has celebrated Halloween by dressing up as a firefighter, Michael Jackson, a skeleton, and a magician, to name just a few of his costumes.

As for me, when I was teaching, costumes were primarily about ease and which ones required the least amount of preparation.  Over the years, I was a chef, a golfer, and a baseball player.  One year, my best friend and I dressed as “Fancy Nancy” of the Fancy Nancy books written by Jane O’Connor (which admittedly took a lot more prep, but was one of my favorites!). 

Now though, I feel as if I am always in disguise as I navigate my days as an “undercover disabled woman.” 

In case you missed it from a few months back, you can click here to be re-directed to The Mighty to read my personal essay, “My Life as an Undercover Disabled Woman.”